Mom has been in the hospital for almost a month due to a pelvic fracture. She is doing great now and walking with a walker. Mom is excited about going back home to assisted living where she is in a building with 15 other residents; all kind, friendly people. She has been living there for over a year. Yesterday afternoon, I got a call from Assisted Living. They said she cannot go back to her room today and that she has to move into the memory unit today! This is because the hospital discharge paperwork has DEMENTIA marked on it. I asked to wait at least a few days as she will see her doctor on Monday. Her doctor will evaluate her and make a referral to a neurologist. Mom's room is full of her furniture, photos etc. It took us days to set up. The facility said no, she can't come back even for a few days due to California law because the dementia box is checked. I went to the place last night and visited the memory unit. The place is dismal. Mom has some memory loss, some forgetfulness and is a fall risk but that is all. No other problems.
Can mom basically be evicted without notice like this? Is it relevant that the assisted living section has a waiting list? Memory care has space and the cost for memory care is $1,150 higher without significant additional care? The doors are locked for "runners" but my mom is not that. The tables are bare "because residents put things in their mouth" but my mom does not do that. The hospital cannot change the paperwork. We love the assisted living section and the facility and it even has a nice therapy pool. Mom is an avid swimmer which is why we chose the place; it is a small, lovely place, but memory care is as I said dismal. The call I got was very callous. No compassion at all for not letting mom come home today. No consideration of the impact this will have when mom cannot go home today. They said she will adjust. I know she will hate the memory care building where most people do not interact. Any ideas?
My Dad moved into Independent Living at a senior facility, he had a large apartment. Everything was going well, but later down the road the Staff called me in saying that it was time for Dad to move over to Memory Care. Yes, it took me by surprise as I was new on this journey and was just starting to learn about Dementia.
So we moved Dad into what he called his "college-dorm-room" so we were limited on what we could move into that space. Dad adjusted, he was happy to see familiar Staff faces, and happy to be having the same meals he had at the other building [food was pretty good].
As others here have mentioned, Dementia can progress quickly. Falls can accelerate the progress.
The same thing happened to my mother after a hospitalization... she had moderate dementia and mobility problems and the ALF wouldn't take her back, but they accepted her in the Memory Care bldg instead. They are within their rights to do such things. But you can choose to move mom to a different ALF who will accept her as is, but do know she may indeed require a move to Memory Care at some point.
You may not be able to afford a 24/7 caregiver for her in this ALF and even so, they may not change their mind about their decision.
Do know that Memory Care provides A LOT more care to residents than AL, and they will deal with A LOT more issues too. My mom fell constantly in MC and was never in jeopardy of being asked to leave. She was incontinent and a big handful although she didn't start out that way. Dementia tends to turn ugly in short order.
I'm sure you're gobsmacked and upset with this news rather than "in denial and seeing what you want to see" which is rude and uncalled for rhetoric.
Best of luck with a very difficult situation. I hope everything works out for your mom
I hope you can get some help from her doctor. Sad that they won't take your mom back in AL.
This facility is following their rules as they are written, one of which is apparently that someone with the diagnosis of dementia cannot be alone without memory care. I would start TODAY examining other facilities. You can explain why you are there and explain your Mom. My bro's place was full of people with a diagnosis and he himself had Lewy's (probable early Lewy's ) and was assessed by the rehab MD as able to be on his own, take his own meds, with balance problems but safe on his own, and etc.
Call your MD and let them know this is an emergency. Get the referral and the testing. Start visiting other ALF. Speak with your own and plead for allowing for the testing and reassure them that Mom is as good as when she went in to care (altho be ready to hear she was failing more than you knew BEFORE admission and they won't accept her in anything but MC).
This may be a follow the money issue and it may be a real issue. We don't know your Mom and couldn't make a guess. You need MD help AT ONCE.
I sure wish you the best.