My parent seems lucid but is already too far into dimentia to make good decisions on POA. What are our options? - AgingCare.com

My parent seems lucid but is already too far into dimentia to make good decisions on POA. What are our options?

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We recently needed to update my parents trust to include the latest laws. But when we got to the part for mental POA my mom misunderstood and blamed me for looking for a way to put her away because I had mentioned before that her memory was not as good as it used to be. She has been accusing me of saying she has Alzheimer's (which I have told her that hers does not match the same symptoms as Alzheimer's but there might be some sort of dementia surfacing). She has breast cancer that is travelling throughout her body and could very easily be working up to her brain. Hers is more like she remembers differently rather than forgetting. And her thinking can wind up skewed and strange. But she blames me and accuses me of trying to put her away when I have never, and would never even consider that. But without the POA I know the state could force her to be in a mental institute if it came up. My dad had no problem with his POA with me as agent.


It is like she is too far gone to think clearly but can still function just enough so that the trust guy says she is mentally still ok to make decisions. Sometimes when she is not thinking she can do some weird things. I would hate it if someone from the state got wind of anything like that and tried to take her from us. She belongs with us as long as we can humanly possibly take care of her.

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Is your main concern that the state will have her committed somehow? It sounds like she is getting good care from you and hospice. Why would the state intervene?

The paperwork trust situation is a little confusing. It doesn't sound to me like any reputable attorney would have her change/sign anything at this point. This may be as good as its going to get.
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cmagnum, it was part of the trust packet. They get more entailed with everything when you have a trust. It is actually a separate part of the medical POA but still a type of it. The trust also gets into the financial POA which she had no problem with.
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I don't remember mental health being mentioned in my mom's medical POA. I guess each medical POA is different.
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Yes, it does sound like you are stuck with her in hospice. Sorry to hear that.
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Ok, how can I get a medical opinion of mom is on hospice at home and is not supposed to see a doctor until we take her off hospice and then after we have to go through all the sign up again to put her back on? Then she will get really suspicious and worry more all the time. Maybe I am just stuck for now and can only pray that the state never decides to become involved. She did sign for me to make any other medical decision if she can't except when they got to the mental part. So at least we do have the medical covered, I guess.
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I think that you need the trained medical opinion of a geriatric doctor about your mom's thinking instead of a trust agent. You will need such a doctor's opinion to help you get guardianship.
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Sounds like you need to look into getting guardianship for her.
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That was all it was but she just assumed it was something giving me permission to put her away. She did give me all the other permissions and I already take care of the finances and she has me down to make medical decisions for her if need be. But when it came to the mental part she flipped out.
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At least get her to sign a Health Care Proxy, which empowers you to act on her behalf when she cannot respond. She should agree to that. Ask that you be added to her accounts at the bank as a signatory only in the event she cannot respond.
Sit down with an attorney and talk about Guardianship and when you should apply for it. Now may be too soon, but the day is coming. Be ready when it arrives.
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