What to do if your 85 year old parent decides to stop taking RX's and will not see a doctor?

Follow
Share

They have COPD, IBS, high blood pressure, etc.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
8

Answers

Show:
While I agree in theory that parent should be able to decide when to stop taking meds, doing so without medical knowledge may cause worse problems. So BP meds for example. Without them, will s/he be liable to have a stroke? Not a big, life ending one, but a small debilitating one. One that robs him of the power of speech (meaning, all language, reading, writing, etc.) say. Not a fun existence. You don't say if your parent has a terminal illness. If s/he doesn't, then stopping meds could well make things worse, not hasten death. If there is depression (and it sounds like there is) that should be treated, if your parent is amenable.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I have to agree with all who say let it be her decision. She may be ready to go and although its hard for us we have to accept that. I hope and pray that when its my turn someone who cares for me will let me decide for myself. And I agree with ba8alou. They should know what the meds are for so that they don't cause themselves any unnecessary pain or discomfort.
I think for the most part his life just plain sucks. So anything I can do to make him more comfortable is what I do.
And as far a cake for breakfast.... ABSOLUTELY!
God bless us all.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Maybe calling in Hospice in the next step? Something to discuss with your parent, although it would require a doctor to certify that she's eligible for Hospice. As mentioned in another thread here, you want to make sure that your parent understands what each drug is for; is she's taking something for her IBS and it's giving relief from intractable diarrhea, then she might want to keep that one. If without it, she's incontinent of bowel, then YOU might want to weigh in on that as well.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My mom is 87 and we've discussed this many times in past years. But she has dementia now and no formal directive. Dealing with this is hard in light of other family members.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I also vote that your parent gets whatever they want to eat & drink as often as they want. This is not the time to care about diets or the effects of taking on a bad habit. May as well enjoy as much of what's left as possible!
Cake for breakfast!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

If my mom didn't want to take her meds any longer, I'd let that be her choice. She's 87 with multiple health issues as well. She's already on 'palliative care' which is, briefly and too simplistically, "just fix what's broke." Sounds like your parent is ready to let nature take its course.

Personally? I would accept that decision. We never know what lies ahead on our final journey. If you insisted your parent take meds, and he/she ended up with dreadfully painful skin ulcers or a broken hip? What have you extended his/her life FOR? Hard question.

Follow your gut. Any decision you make will be the right one.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thank you, I tend toward the allowing them to do what they want. This is what I would wish for in the same position. I just wasn't sure if I should. I live with and care for this parent so I am aware of all the facts. I just needed some reassurance that I am not crazy.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Well, if this person has a living will or advanced directives, it would shed light on this decision. Maybe they are ready to let go and have nature take it's course, which is a reasonable place to be at 85 with complex medical issues.

What do you do?
This is where it gets tough. Some people will say to stuff their meds down their neck by force no matter what to keep them going. I don't personally vote for that. When I decide I'm ready to go, I want to be allowed to go. My answer is to honor your parent's wishes.

Are you able to have a talk or get some communication from your parent about what they want to have happen?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.