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I'm the one taking care of my 97 yr old mom who now is failing her swallowing test at the hospital that i reported earlier as of 6 days ago she was eating great, and taking drinks in until the pneumonia hit they (hosp) fought hard to get it under control, but they think mom isn't passing their swallow test which the next one were going to be there for it because we were able to give her some nourishment and she took it without choking. the doc said tube feedings of any kinds isn't the way to go. so starve them is the only way. shes alert, talks in her own way shes been dx for 8 yrs and is a fighter so what do i do. don't like the starving method not ok with me, watching her want drinks and food and not giving it to her while she starve.

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Hi University, my mom just passed (this sunday) from end stage Alz. Do not force feed her, losing the ability to eat or drink is usually the start of the dying phase, my mom was under hospice care for more than 2 years, which is unusual. When thy start to die refusing food or drink is not unusual. We sustained my mom for months with feeding her through a syringe to the mouth and gently dripping it into her mouth, but the last few days she was not able to take anything by mouth. We were told by hospice that this was normal and did not make the person dying uncomfortable. In fact, they said if we did try, that would cause her discomfort. From what I understand, this refusal or inability to eat or drink is normal as their internal organs are failing. Mama died quietly (except for the agonal breathing) in her sleep. I'm glad we did everything to make her comfortable - even if it was hard for us. Blessings to you, Lindaz.
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Hospice has specific and extensive experience with persons in the last stage of life. They were able to come up with some solutions that helped keep my husband comfortable.

Their attitude was to let my husband eat whatever he wanted to/could eat,but not to push him to take food. (He "failed" the swallowing test, too.)

Being with a loved one who has started the process of dying is very stressful. Don't discount the value of "support."
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When my mother was in Hospice ( where she passed) a nutritionist explained that even if she actually ate anything, the food would not be metabolized - has no place to go as the bodily functions are breaking down. Therefore, your mom is no longer getting any nutrition or calories.
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I know how you feel. It is SO hard to let go of our mothers. Believe it or not, our bodies are equipped to handle the starvation. There are other people who can explain it much better than I can, but she will feel no pain or hunger. Inserting a tube is invasive and painful, and many people have expressed the desire to avoid that treatment. If she's not ready to go, she will accept the thickened liquids without choking, but will she be able to get enough to maintain life? A sip here and there is just prolonging the inevitable.

It is so hard and I'm sending you my best thoughts and prayers as you go through this difficult time.
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mom has been on thickit for a long time its classified as honey level and shes doing fine before her admission. yes they suggested hospice but what can they do for me. i have girls some that have been here over a year with my mom and we have all the medical equipment needed so other then support i see no use in hospice
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Ice cream, something she likes. Keep her happy
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first th only financial advantage with hospice was they paid for her briefs, wipes, and gloves. she takes 2 pills and one is over the counter so we don't save much by hospice cover it. as for comfortable, i was told by nurses that by staving her isn't painful nor giving her fluids. their elderly body adjust to it if necessary. we know the meds for pain which she doesn't have ends her life quicker i know this from all those years in the medical field.
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Dad stopped swallowing yesterday morning. He asked for toast, bacon and eggs, but tried to eat some egg and toast with heavy wet jelly. He coughed up and coughed up all day, told me he doesnt know what is the matter because he cannot get food down. He went to bed about 830 pm, my husband helping, then when I arrived at 110 pm, after my class, I checked the room b/c the light was on. I found him sitting up in a stare, legs on the floor, still holding the the oxygen for his nose. I asked me husbant to confirm the death. He died peacefully.
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Disappointed with most of the medical community. From the hospital that said my 84 year old mom all of a sudden had COPD -no not close to hospice, only her PCM has been on top of things. I have cared for my mother 6 years at home with the assist of private paid care and at ALFs - which mom had frequent UTIs and hospitaled for poor care, those were the nice expensive places. Mom is now back home and not swallowing, so I contacted hospice. I am mixed on this $170 per visit billed to Medicare and they could not do anything except maybe sit with her. They offered all the things they could also bill to Medicare (free of charge is the term but it's our tax $$) at about 4-5 times the cost. What really bothered me is that she cannot swallow yet they wanted to get her a " just in case" preset group of drugs. Morphine, suppositories etc why? This seems like it's all about the money. I just wanted support and found I get more online than hospice for profit.
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Momcare, hospice is all about easing the final months toward a certain death. It isn't about the money, it is about having the tools in place if the need arises. The hope is that we all slip away quietly in our sleep, the reality is that most of us do not and both patient and caregiver can use a little support through both medication and on call nursing.
If you don't feel your mom is dying then why would you enroll with hospice?
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