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Mom and her husband live far from me and siblings. She needs more in-home care than she gets and her husband's ability is fading fast. The cost of repeated trips to stay with her is extreme. A sibling has been handling finances for almost a year and we've all been vigilant over how every penny of Mom's money is spent. Is it ethical to use her funds to help with this expense? Please note we understand the real issue is more care whether in home, assisted living, etc. her spouse has fought that and we're working on it. In the meantime the air travel is difficult.

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It is ethical to use her funds to help you with this extreme expense. Submit receipts. The ONLY reason I say that is because, if your mom goes on Medicaid any time during the next five years, Medicaid will look at how every penny of her money was spent to make sure she didn't gift any away.
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For home health, see if whomever is hired, will text or email you a report either monthly or bimonthly as to how mom & hubs are doing. Also they can photograph then weekly and email it over to you all. Also if they can as the last thing they do when working is to dial the phone and call you or another of the kids and then give the phone to mom so she can talk with you.
If everybody is internet savvy, they could Skype a call too.
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