"Panic Button" issues. Anyone else?

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What is the point of my mom wearing a "panic/fall button" when she bangs the thing into everything she walks by (including but not limited to her own walker??) She is bent pretty much in half, due to osteoporosis and just refusing to do her exercises. So she walks bent over, the button hanging on the string and it gets bumped and often sets off the alarm as if she has fallen. Then the calls begin. First a siren goes off in her apt, and someone comes on the line to ask if she's OK. She often doesn't respond. Then they go down the calling list. First my brother (with whom she lives, so luckily we've avoided about half of the calls--) but if he is not home, then they call my sister who is a good 25 minutes away, then me, I am 5 minutes away. Even if they shut off the alarm and my brother assesses her and tells them she's fine, the co calls all the people on the list and tells us she's had a fall but that she is OK, or in just one instance, taken to the ER. My poor hubby--the phone is on his side of the bed and he has answered quite a few of these calls. I hear the phone ring at 3 am and my heart starts to race. Turns out she got up for a drink and smacked the button on the counter top. So at least 5 people are awakened several times a week for nothing more life threatening that the fact she won't tuck the thing inside her nightgown (she likes people to see that she wears one...she's a little theatrical about these things to say the least). My sister set this up and she is not even ON the list of people to be called. Funny thing, she sent it through the washer AND dryer and it didn't go off. I asked my bro. is he thought maybe she is looking for more attention by deliberately setting it off and not responding to the person who calls her...and he just sighed and said "That's entirely possible". Anybody else have this situation? After the W/D episode, I began to wonder if she isn't showtiming a little for us? She is quite passive/aggressive--and she's manipulative enough to do just that for attention. I rarely see her..actually am taking a month off for my own sanity--but my heart goes out to my brother!

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see my post in Family and Relationship... My handle is Daughterhallie
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My parents have a subscription service (Life Alert) with Fall Detection, and have had several false alarms. And yes my out of state sister set this up, and yet isn't on the call list. Its very expensive, compared to a one-time purchase (I'm looking into non-subscription pendants). They both carry their cell phones with them at all times, only wish there was an app for fall alert instead if a separate device (with a separate bill).
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CM, LOL! I have talked to so many about implants and I hear so much about invasion of privacy, etc. But these people don't think that we are watching them with our internet cameras?!

One more thing on falls. On July 26 my 93 year old MIL had a heart attack, stroke and fell/collapsed in her independent living apartment. She did not have a fall alert, cameras, or someone checking on her more than once a day. By the time people are in their nineties they need more than once a day checking. She lay there for about 18 hours before she was found. The fall could have happened anywhere, but because she chose independent living, we want to blame ourselves or the facility? No, I do not agree with that. Instead we can choose, yes choose, to realize that this fall was not our fault or anybody else's. It is one of those things that happen and often.

MIL spent the following week in hospice care and passed peacefully a week later. She went on her terms and at her time. It was nobody's fault.
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I found it! Pocket Finder, a pendant the size of an oreo cookie with GPS. For cell phones, Verizon Family Locator. ADT calls it Chaperone. You create a "safe zone", e.g. the house and if they leave it, you get an alert via text or email. $10-40 per month.
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CM, you don't have to bribe anybody. Now some police departments are giving families the ankle bracelets that used to be used for house arrest. If grandma wanders out the door, an alarm goes off, with GPS tracking. Immigration uses ADT to monitor selected individuals.
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I have heard of "tech houses" for the elderly. The one I read about was a concept house, not a real thing quite yet.

There are webcams throughout the house at floor level. Whomever is checking on them can see if they are walking around, fallen, haven't moved out of the chair or bed, etc. But the cameras wouldn't show them nude or anything indecent if they were standing or sitting normally.

The lights were all on timers and remote controlled. There was an intercom. Remote door opening & locking (like OnStar for a house). I think it had other automation put in to turn off the stove or shut the fridge. It was really "Jetsons" ready!
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I think we share the same Mother!!! My mom is 98 with dementia and in good health. EVERTHING you wrote is EXACTLY what I've been going through!! My mother has always been a NEGATIVE person, complaining about EVERYTHING. If you ask her how are you doing?.....she'll go on for hours explaining how horrible her life and health are!! Even her doctor said she will outlive us all!! I had to sell my restaurant business two months ago because she was constantly calling Life Alert because I couldn't answer her phone calls while at the restaurant because she wanted to say "Hello". She would call my business, tying up my lines upsetting my employees; yelling that I was ignoring her and she is going to call the cops (which she has done MANY TIMES). Sorry, but if you are calling me during lunch hours, I was too busy cooking!! I have had MANY conversations with her that I will call back when things simmer down....but that never appeased her. When she calls.....she wants an IMMEDIATE response. She will call my cell phone OVER AND OVER AGAIN leaving messages filling up my voicemails to the point that no one else could leave a message! At times, I had to block her number from incomming calls. All my life, she WANTED and WAS the center of attention and believe me.....she was a drama queen!! She always felt she should come first... before my husband and children. When she wants to get attention, she brings on the tears; which is not effective any longer because I know she is play acting. I had one sister (who died several years ago) who went through this before me and after her death, my husband and I thought to let her move in with us. We made our house into a Mother/Daughter home. Never did I think she would do this to me!! If it weren't for the many people who have witnessed what I'm going through, they would have thought I was the worst daughter ever!! Thank God, they see what I've endured. Being that now I am resorted to home, I probably will be cancelling her Life Alert so this will not happen again. I'm always going in several times per day to check up on her assisting in anything she needs! So, to the people here who have wonderful parents who have been loving throughout their lives.....KUDDO'S to you.....I envy you because not every child has that and believe me.....it hurts having a selfish mother who always thinks she comes first and will do ANYTHING to get the attention from their children annoying and disrupting everyone's life around them!! Thanks for hearing me on this and sorry you and your family are going through this as well!!
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Oh Glad! An implant! Wow!!! You're a genius. And I could have a little screen for following her tracker with… Oh happy day.

There must be a black market in surveillance gizmos and a dodgy surgeon I could bribe, surely..?
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I agree with sandwich42plus---we ARE doing the best we can and this forum does allow us the "space" to "complain" because we are all in the same boat.
I am so sorry for your loss, pvgdg..but sandwich is right, we can't play the "if only" card. Our loved ones will fall, whether we're standing next to them or 3,000 miles away! They'll do things we'd rather they didn't and they will make choices we don't understand--it's sadly all part of life and the declining state of our loved ones.
I think all of us are trying to find the best "product" to help notify us of falls. Sadly, even with the alert system on, my mother still falls. Your mother likely would also still have fallen. I personally HAVE done all the things you mention, to keep mother safe, but still find she has snuck throw rugs back into her place, still forgets to wear her panic button, etc. I refuse to feel guilty that I haven't "done enough"....short of forcing her into AL, I'm personally doing all I can, as are most of the people who commented on this thread.
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PGVDG1500 = I am so very sorry for your loss. It's not fair what happened at all, but you have nothing to feel guilty for. You didn't do anything wrong. Please don't beat yourself up. You have absolutely no reason to.

We all just do the best we can with what we know at the time. Hindsight will always be better, but it changes nothing.

My mom had all that and STILL fell and hit her head, suffering some pretty dramatic cognitive decline as a result. She was on a flat floor, in a senior apartment/care center, and still fell. Fortunately her med nurse found her. We still don't know how long she was on the floor and never will.

Someone told me we can drive ourselves crazy with "IF". "IF" is not a productive path to go down because we just can't change the past.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope to be the kind of mother my children miss when I'm gone. She must have been a very special lady.
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