Hi all, have a question about why the palliative care team at the hospital my FIL is at, would want to meet with his kids. Why would they want a meeting and what should we expect at it? I’m trying to stop putting the cart before the horse but it’s so hard being in the middle of my husband’s health crisis! What I know about my FILs health status is, he has stage 0 multiple myloma that has triggered a very rare condition that has made it very difficult for him to speak and swallow. He has a feeding tube now. He’s been hospitalized since early December with fluid in his lungs and low blood pressure. He has started chemo to treat the rare condition. He’s supposed to go to rehab but apparently they haven’t been able to find him a bed. He’s refusing PT in the hospital too so I don’t know if they’ve nixed rehab. I don’t know if it’s because he’s on medi-cal and there are no medi-cal beds available OR if they are trying to keep him close to the hospital because of the chemo, but he’s transfer to rehab keeps getting delayed. They already had a meeting to discuss POA (and maybe other things, I don’t know because my husband didn’t go). From what I’ve gathered, palliative care teams meet with the patient to set up a treatment plan and it’s based on what the patient wants and that family who will be taking care of the patient should be attend. So that last part has me freaking out! Here’s where i put the cart before the horse. Surely my husband’s brother isn’t expecting the 3 of them to become their dads caregiver? Is palliative care assuming we will all be involved? It’s my BIL that is telling my husband that the team wants to meet with them all by the way. My husband’s MRI is this afternoon and then much to our surprise, he has an appointment with the surgeon on Monday!!! We just got that phone call this morning. We expected a much slower road to surgery so this is good news on that end. Anyway there is no way we can be of assistance when it comes by FIL. My husband’s career is on the line and he is facing a long recovery after surgery. He will have to rest, go through physical therapy and focus on that. We won’t be available to take my FIL to his appointments, or go over there to care for him. To put it in perspective, he lives with my BIL in another county about 35 minutes east of us. The hospital he is at and where he will get chemo at is 30 minutes west of us. Not counting traffic. My SIL is also wanting him to go to Palo Alto VA for care and that is a good 90 minutes north of us not counting traffic. We cannot drive him all over Northern California to all his appointments. My SIL, BIL and their spouses work also. So I know they will think it would easiest for us to be his chauffeur. I am starting worry about the purpose of this appointment and what the palliative care is going to expect from the family? I hope my husband doesn’t feel pressured or obligated to do anything.