Well this is my 3rd attempt and if I lose this message I'm done. I've been caring for my mom for 16 + yrs and she just turned 100 this past May. I get one fire out and another one pops up. At 70 I'm just struggling to get thru this last phase of life while I sit and watch my siblings living life. They very seldom ask if there is anything they can do. They know theres plenty to do. I've had several breakdowns. Wonder why? And I tell them but still they have a blind eye. Mom has been in pain with her back for the last several weeks. Doc took xray and saw nothing and after still complaining they did an MRI. He found arthritus but that's all. They put her on prednisone and she felt so much better for two days and now shes back to moaning and moaning and moaning. I have put ice, heat and pads behind her back and NOTHING helps. The doc said he doesn't want to put her on pain meds because at her age if would be risky and she would fall. So what do we do? After giving my life up for 16 + yrs I don't want to put her in a NH that last phase of her life. I'm at a loss. I feel angry all the time and cry a lot. My siblings know what I deal with but yet are not around. I'm in counselling working thru the anger and I had a good two weeks them boom I seemed to have regressed and I'm angry at the world again. If I hear her moan one more time I think my head will explode. I feel like an unloving daughter. I don't like how I feel but can't seem to rid myself of these terrible feelings. i run to Kroger for a few groceries and that's my respite all while she counts the minutes I'm gone. Why are siblings so blind? Any suggestions are welcomed. God has to give me the grace to get thru these remaining days, week, months or years. My body, mind, spirit and emotions have all been torn to shreds thru the process. At 70 I wonder if I will have any life left for me? I want to take care of the pain but have no idea what to try next if there is even anything else to do. Thank you for letting me pour my heart out. One last thing...last Sat would have been my mom and dads 69th anniversay, today is my brother's birthday and he's not here and my dad died on July 17th. Wonder if this could be causing some of the pain?