Do all paid caregivers talk to their wards like they are children?

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or is it just the ones I end up with?


I didn't even talk to my children like children. I never spoke baby talk. I didn't use the sing songy voice. With Mom, I may speak more slowly but I still talk to her like an adult.


When I brought Carol in, it would drive me crazy how she talked to Mom like she was a baby. But, I let it go because Mom seemed OK with it. Now I have two new, additional, caregivers and I have noticed that they both do it as well. Especially the late afternoon one. She might just be showing off for me when I am around but it drives me crazy to watch how she interacts with mom. She does get Mom to smile but to me it looks like Mom's "I'm putting up with you" smile.


When ask Mom about them, she says she likes all three caregivers and won't complain about them.


Is this normal or did I end up with three random people who all do the same thing?

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Grin and bear it seems to be the caregiver's mantra.
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It is a reasonable request but I asked Mom again tonight how she feels about each of them and specifically the way they interact with her and she says she likes them and doesn't notice anything unusual in the way they talk to her. I only see one of them with her at all and that is only for several minutes just before she leaves for the day. I guess I will just cringe and get over it as long as it is not bothering Mom.
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Are you paying these caregivers? If so, I think you have every right to explain to them that the baby talk is driving you crazy and you would like for them to stop it and call your mother by her first name. Baby talk would drive me mad and since you cannot escape these caregivers, it's a reasonable request.
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I'll be honest if my MIL/GMIL is acting like a child I tend to treat her like one. If she is herself ( not dementia 3 yr old on crack and yes that sounds rude.. but well) I talk to her like I would any other person. Her dementia grannie state responds to direct child like talk her normal grannie self does not. It's a fine line. Our PT's/Nurses all refer to her as grannie as that's what she is comfortable with. Not trying to be devils advocate but it really depends on the day and the version of grannie that is there as to how we all respond to her.
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And, maybe that is why I am so annoyed by it. I never spoke to my children or anyone else's children like that. I have always spoken to children in normal tones as if they are adults in tiny little bodies. And, I never tolerated babay talk from my kids either.
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When I took my CNA class, we were taught to call all residents by Mr/Mrs Smith unless the Resident said otherwise. We were never to use "honey" or any other nickname. Baby talk is not professional. I never used it with my kids and would never use it with the elderly.
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Mom is 84. When I am around, her two caregivers in their 50's call her Miss J or Miss Joanna. Not sure what they call her when I am not around but pretty sure it is the same. Her 79 year old caregiver refers to her as simply Joanna but that is fine since they are peers.

And, I too, find "honey" and "sweetheart" disrespectful
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Same post
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mom2mom How is your Mother's caregiver address her? If those caregiver speaks to your Mother "honey or sweetheart".... I tell them to stop, this is respect issue for elderly adult who needs assistant from outside. I'm caregiver for private duty for 3 days a week(72 hours live-in) with 2 other CGs.... one of does baby talk that make me crazy....It is so unprofessional!!!
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Yes, the strokers that CM mentioned. My late afternoon caregiver is the one with the most professional caregiver experience and she is the one who drives me most crazy. She does little cheek strokes like you would to a baby and I cringe.

They are all wonderful and providing great care. And Mom is usually just sitting in her recliner so they all spend the day cleaning just to keep themselves from losing their minds. You would not believe how clean Mom's apartment is. I don't have to lift a finger anymore. Between the three of them, they steam mop the entire unit at least twice a day.

They are a lifesaver and luckily, I only have to listen to them talk baby talk a few minutes a day. I guess if Mom is OK with it, I will just have to be.
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