Packing up all her belongings every week. Any suggestions?
MIL packs al her clothes, pictures, toiletries at least 3x’s a week. She says she’s ready to go home now. I put a sign in her room telling her “you live here, don’t pack your clothes”. I explain to her she has lived here over a year, and this is her room. I have taken every bag, tote bag, Plastic bags, boxes out of her room so that she will have nothing to pack her stuff into. Instead she now just takes everything out of her closet and out of her bureau and puts them on the mini couch that is in her room. It would not be too bad if it was only her clothes she packed because, she can just use the mini couch as her bureau. But unfortunately she packed everything that is in her room, including all the toiletries from the bathroom, paperwork, hundreds of pictures, newspaper articles that were saved, you name it. I am just so tired of unpacking and re-organizing her room. Any suggestions?
She will not understand what you are telling her about where she lives but she will stop this activity eventually and start another.
Help her pack if you have time and then you will know where everything is when needed. If you have the funds, find her cute bags. Meet her where she is.
Here is a thread from an Alzheimer site that discusses this issue.
https://www.helpforalzheimersfamilies.com/community-voices/your-questions-answered/why-mother-constantly-packs/
Maybe it's time to STOP.
Don't unpack anything. Leave everything packed, slowly each item will be placed back into accessible places.
She is stuck on remembering her previous home, is there a way to help create positive experiences in her current location?
Be as positive as you can. Play along with the plan. “Oh, you’re moving, well that will be exciting!” I like what you’ve done with the place. Or you must be tired after all that packing, would you like to —(insert some activity that makes her calm or happy)— (bake cookies, relax for a while, take a walk, enjoy television or music, a hot bath, help me cook dinner, have some tea —before you go?)
Since she may feel trapped, give her choices- let her plan what you will have for dinner, or manage the TV remote, or even pick an activity for the whole group if she is able.
If she likes the activities related to moving, maybe folding laundry will be enjoyable. Maybe you could say, could you help me pack these things into the laundry basket? Or if you are donating some items, have her fold them for you first. Remind her that her contribution was needed and appreciated.
Take her shopping at a discount store like TJ Maxx and let her pick out a new comforter. decorative pillows or wall art, curtains, or some kind of small furniture to accessorize her new place (her same room). It may feel less strange and more like home if she participates in the transformation.
Change and loss is hard. She may sense her thoughts are becoming increasingly unclear. She has lost control, independence and freedom - principles that people go to war for.
However, I would suggest doing something else with the photos, newspaper articles, papers. Is it possible to put the photos into a photo album? Or digitize the photos and buy one of those photo frames that display digital photos? I would also put the newspaper clippings into a photo album or scrapbook. Or maybe just take home whatever doesn’t really have to be at her place.
Also, in my humble opinion, please take down the sign as it doesn’t seem to be doing any good anyway and may only be upsetting.
Change to the sign to "I love you" or "I love the view from the window" (if she has one so it may refocus her to go to the window . . . or something soothing.
* Take away things that are unnecessary in the room.
* Let her do it. If anything is in the way and causing a potential fall risk, remove it.
* Do not pack and unpack and re-organize. Just stop. You are allowing yourself to be led around / dictated by a brain that no longer functions normally.