I am the youngest daughter and also the paid caregiver for one of my parents. As the paid caregiver I provide care for both elders. eighty one years old. I as well as my husband am very frustrated with my working condition as well as the living condition of the elders. I love my job but the people in the home are making things very difficult. Now that my husband mother and grandmother have passed he tries to help me with my parents.
My husband and I may be too close to the situation. In this home are the two elders my older sister who has been there forever a younger brother moved back home coming up a year ago four nephews all grown except the one that is visiting for summer and a niece.
So please let me know if we are over reacting. If not please let me know of options.
Dad got diagnosed with severe emphysema this year with one third lung capacity and is on twenty four seven oxygen. He also suffers with diabetes, constant swollen ankles, and male problems. Dad is taking too much insulin. We come up with a number that seems to be working and then older sister comes and says no take this much and then he can hardly function. Mom has her share of problems as well including asthma and we think Dementia. But guess what no one else has time to help with all the doctor appointments. Now want me to find a doctor for mom and have her tested for Dementia. I am just finishing up all the other appointments.
Some things are becoming more and more frustrating. For one medications are being given that parents have been taking off of because of stomach problems like BC powers. Or because it bothers prostate like flexeril. They are being given medications that do not belong to them. Given Gabapentin for swollen ankles by sister. I have lost count of the others. My husband takes these and even when I look this up online it is for nerve pain. This is not to count prescription medication that showed up out of the blue. Antibiotic prescribed way back in February suddenly shows up last month.
Same issue mentioned in February 2015 is still taking place now. Dad and I had gotten the roaches to die down. But I swear now they are feeding them because they are back in full force. So dad sprays and mom and sister pitch a fit talking about their asthma. Every room is still full of junk and the hallway is still full of junk and the ice box is still full of junk. Dad and I still try to make progress but then we get to get yelled at and sworn too. I clean the bathtub for them to take baths and what do I have the pleasure to see. Cannot use this plate because it is mine cannot use the washer because it is my washing powder and cannot use the air freshener after they make a funk because the air freshener messes with their asthma.
I leave food so they do not have to wait and it does not get served. At times I think it is thrown out after I leave because the elders cannot find the coffee I left or the food.
No help with the household chores and no help with paying the bills. Dad runs them all up and down the road at every beck and call. At his expense out of what is left after I pay out all the bills. And if he refuses he catches heck and then we get to hear the drama.
I am so tired of the drama my husband thought he would get rest from the drama after his mom passed but hah. Thank God I get to go home but I am afraid dad is going to stoke out or have a heart attack and die from something we do not expect to be of his demise. But as younger brother says if mom pass they will cry but when dad pass no one will cry and they will dance.
Not to mention it is summer time now. The air up front is not working very well so I have to ask my brother to open up the room where he sleeps to let air circulate and this always ends up confrontational.
So last week I called to see if a home health nurse could be sent out to at least monitor parents and their medication. They said mom could not have a paid caregiver and a nurse. But I do not see what the problem would be with someone coming out for dad. I am going to pose this question again tomorrow.
I have tried reporting this med issue with my company so that it does not come back on me but they wanted no parts of making a report let alone hearing about the issue. I have also considered the aging counsel but do not want to lose my job or be on the outs with family because they may kick them all out because of the mess.
Doctor also mentioned things to watch for with dad and his emphysema. Like at this point he cannot stand to catch a cold have the flu or pneumonia. And that if any of this happens including cannot catch his breath to get him to the nearest doctor or emergency room. They all just keep saying oh we did not know as if I need to send them all certified mail.