My over-medicated mother gave an advance directive to her drug addict sister who signed her up for hospice?

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My drug addict aunt took my cancer ridden mother, doped her up, put her on hospice and won't let her go to the hospital, which my mother has always been super against bc she thinks this aunt /hospice killed their mother, won't feed her, keeps her over medicated and weak, etc, etc. She has a history of proxy muchensen syndrome but she's a nurse with crosses all over her house so the drs, nurses, social workers, police won't do anything even though my mom keeps saying that she wants to go to the hospital and her sister won't let her. It's insane. So far, lawyers just say stay off paper and grab your mom but she's very weak/starving and my aunt, her sister and husband would block us and call the police. What can I do?

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Get a different lawyer. It may mean that you have to spend some more money for someone decent. It's either that or nothing.

How much does she mean to you. If she means the world, then money is no object.

Do you know why she gave an advance directive for your Aunt?

Is your mother depressed. Has she had enough?

If she gave an advance directive for your aunt, she must have had her reasons. You don't have to agree with them, and you may not think it's fair.

Have you and your mother had a difficult past relationship that could have affected this decision.
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Please don't burn up the time your mother has left with anger.

If Mom is on hospice care, two doctors have stated in writing that she is in the final stage of her disease. Note that is two doctors -- not her sister!

Visit your mom. Comfort her. Show your love. Leave your anger at the door. Cherish the time mom has left, and use it wisely.
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Yvette, when my daughter was in the final stages with ovarian cancer, she was in a lot of pain, nauseated, vomiting and not eating. She was having trouble not urinating or having a bowel movement, at this stage, it was kinder not to feed her or put a tube in her. Her body was already shutting down, all we could do was keep her comfortable and lessen her pain, she passed after being in the hospital for 3 weeks. I know exactly how you hurt about what seems to be happening to her, but trust me, death is going to be a blessing for her. Use this time to just be ther and let her know how much you love her and that she is not alone, this way you won't have any regrets.
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You said Mom is Cancer ridden. If so, there is nothing a hospital can do. Like said, you have to be evaluated for hospice. They manage the medication. Ur Mom is probably in a lot of pain. She is in her final stages of life. Feeding tube would not do any good at this point because her body maybe shutting down and wouldn't be able to process food anyway. This is not starving the patient. Maybe talking to the hospice Dr. or nurse would put ur mind at ease. You need to take this time to be with Mom.
Just a question? If ur Mom doesn't trust this Aunt why does the Aunt have any say. Where r u Mom's children? Just curious.
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Curious: What kind of medications? How often? Didn't the hospital do routine blood tests to check for things like drugs in your mom's system? There are protocols that must be followed before someone can be admitted to Hospice. Get your facts---before you make a big move.
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Overmedicated? She definitely wasn't in her right mind so her actions should be void from what you describe
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All the above answers are true--and perhaps you CAN chase your tail trying to get your mother placed elsewhere (where? and under what kind of care? have you thought that through?) but IMHO, and in my experience, we didn't just "call hospice" and they were there with the drugs and care. It took some doing, and more than one dr signed off on dad's hospice care.
It sounds like you have a LOT of anger from years ago about your aunt. Her being a drug addict--be careful how you throw that term around. You don't live in her body and you don't know her pain.
I'm sorry you feel that hospice hastened a loved one's death. It can seem that way--but do you honestly WANT your mother to live in the pain she must have with cancer throughout her body?
Try and spend as much time as you can with your mother--leave your anger at the door--and see how well the pain and indignity of dying can be handled so sweetly and with such compassion.
I'm sorry for your anger--but it sounds like you are not a "voice" in mom's care. And just to add--many people in Hospice care are there because they can no longer swallow --and if Mom's AD says "no tube feeding, no IV's for fluids", then yes, she would be "starving". I'm sorry to be blunt, but that is a fact. I do wish you to find peace, somehow.
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In order for your mom to be admitted to hospice, a doctor would have to determine that she has less than 6 months to live. However, if your mom wants to keep fighting, that's her right.

You need to have a talk with her oncologist and ask if there is anything else in terms of treatment that can be done. If the answer to that is no, then you need to ask whether heavy pain management, or full blown hospice should be the next move. You seem to be basing your preference on emotion when it should, for your mother's sake, be based on fact. If the oncologist tells you there's nothing more that can be done (you're free to get a 2nd opinion), then a good hospice is the best decision. This has nothing to do with your aunt or the fact that she's an addict.

You said your mom gave your aunt an "advance directive." Have you seen that document? It should be on file at the hospice. An advance directive is a document that details what level of life-sustaining treatment you want administered if you should become incapacitated and unable to care for yourself. If your mom filled one out, you should consult it to see what her wishes are. If you think your aunt pressured her to sign a false one, that's an issue you need to take up with adult protective services. Be prepared with proof.

Does your mom have a POA or Health Care Proxy? If so, the person or people she made POA and health care proxy are the people legally authorized to make decisions on her behalf. If she doesn't have those documents in place, and you want to be the one to make decisions for her, you would need to petition the court to make you her guardian. However, that is a lengthy and expensive process.

It sounds like you have a lot of work to do. It also sounds like you may not have been involved during your mother's illness. You need to decide if it's worth fighting this now or if the best thing to do is to spend precious time with your mother.
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There is a lot of misconception about Hospice. First, Hospice is not a death sentence, it is another step in our journey through life. Second, it is not a monolithic entity like medicare or medicaid. It is composed of individual, independent organizations, each with pluses and minuses. My wife, who has final stage Alzheimer's, was recommended for Hospice by her regular elder care physician. I did the research and chose the one I felt best met our needs. We were first interviewed by a Hospice social worker, then by a Hospice RN. She was accepted into the program, not 'put there'. Every day a CNA comes to help with bathing and getting her out of bed. Each week a Hospice RN comes to check her condition. A social worker and chaplain are available to talk to whenever needed. Her Hospice doctor is coming to our home next week to do a medical evaluation. If the family ever decides to take a different course, then hospice can be put on hold and other actions taken. Enrolling her in Hospice is one of the best decisions we could have made.
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You must be absolutely heartsick.

Call Adult Protective Services in your state today.

1. Your aunt cannot put her into hospice only a doctor can.
2. You will have to prove your aunt is addicted to drugs.
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