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Trying to get house ready for estate sale and then to lease her home for the income she needs.


Mom 85, NPD, Alz, and recent hip replacement continues to battle everyone. Not sure if I’m doing the right thing I’m ready to give up, she calls ppl at other facilities to say she wants to move there, they send marketing person, she calls home care people to come help her move home but she refuses to let them administer meds. Which is why she’s in AL!!


Can someone give me some advice? CountryMouse you’re always smart tell me what I’m doing wrong!

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You aren't doing anything wrong! Don’t be hard on yourself. My mother was in a nursing home for 3 years and very vocally hated every minute of it for the entire time. The only thing that concerns me is that if these people visit Mom and give her the sales pitch, can she sign anything or write a check to give them money? Sometimes people with Alzheimer’s can showtime and strangers think they’re perfectly fine. And, I’m also wondering if you need to limit her access to a phone. In any case, hang in there. You’re doing it all right. (((Hugs))). Been there!
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AT1234 Aug 2019
Oh how I wish that phone was gone! She makes calls to people and can hold a conversation a short time before starting what I call “circle” talking, but her elderly friends tend to just believe every word.
The staff and Drs at her AL say she is very convincing but see through her antics. Yes, I am her POA.
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You aren't doing anything wrong that I can see.
You don't say that Mom is suffering from Dementia, and you don't say if Mom is still in control of her affairs, but I am assuming, since you are readying the home and are getting the income sorted that you have those powers.
While Mom is able to make these calls and have people come they WILL come. The thing is, if you have the power, and you cut them off when they call, that is the end of it. Meanwhile Mom is keeping herself entertained, and I wonder how many are now aware when they visit her that alas, this live lead is going nowhere.
As to being happy in assisted living, I wonder who is. Perhaps do a survey. The complaints about food and treatment is, as someone once said on the forum, a requisite, a pre-requisite if you are entering. You have to agree to complain about the care and food, especially to the family.
Good luck. Keep doing what you are doing. The difference between caring family and everyone else out there is that when the elder sets down all the baggage, the caring family picks it up and tries to haul it about with everything else they are carrying.
Update us when you have the home-work all done, and there is income coming in. Mom will have even MORE AL representatives swooping in as they smell more money. Meanwhile who knows, maybe Mom will find the ideal ALF in her research, and like I said, she's keeping busy.
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YOU aren't doing anything wrong!

Is there fallout from mom's antics? Can you just ignore her shenanigans? If marketing people call you, are you able simply to say "my mother has dementia" and hang up?

((((((Hugs))))))).
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