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Our loved one went into a nursing home to get well. He was able to walk, talk normal, eat solid foods and drink fluids. 2 weeks after he was there we were very happy, he just needed to gain weight. The psych nurses went behind our backs and put him on schizophrenic drugs, anti-depressants, etc. We noticed the difference immediately. He was a zombie. We stopped them by threatening legal actions. But it was too late, they ruined his mind & body. 2 months later he is bedridden, can't eat solid food, lost all bowel control, lays in bed 24/7 and doesn't get up. I bought a phone for him and he has 3 chargers. NO plugs work near him. I told the omnbuds person that he was supposed to get a supplement drink. 3 times a day. They NEVER gave it to him. We bought ensure otherwise he would have starved. His meals consist of watered down cool aid, hard peas, and a dry hamburger which he doesn't eat. He can't eat solids now, even if he wanted to. He was 235 and is 138. I tried taking him out to the doctor, he said ok and they then held the phone away from him and told him to say no and said I was hollering, but we both couldn't hear each other. When I knew it was useless and he couldn't hear me I stopped talking. The social worker pretended I was still talking and said I was hollering and they would not talk to me if I continued in the future. I called the nursing station and asked if my phone was on loud or speaker since I do have an old flip phone. She said no. I realized she was setting me up. I have never felt so scared and worried what they are going to my loved one now that I can't see him due to the COVED 19 virus.


I am the medical power of attorney and so is his brother. He is unaware of what is happening. and they now say he is mentally competent so if they convince him not to go, he doesn't have to go to the doctor. One minute he says no and when we ask him he says yes. He tells us he doesn't want to go to the bathroom in his diaper and to help him.


Finally, his brother got to talk to him and said I am taking you to the doctor, tell them you want to go home. The paperwork was processed, and his dr. is doing video to assess him tomorrow and see him on April 1st.


My question: Could I the power of attorney for medical have made this decision for him to take him to the doctor even when he was coaxed to say no? And what if he is coaxed and told to say no again after he talks to his doctor?


He may lose his bowel function forever if it is an infection, since that is why he went into the hospital.


Has anyone experienced horror like this? I will NEVER put a loved one in a nursing home after this nightmare. I will use home health and cna's that I know.


Everyone there is all drugged up and they lay in there bed 24/7. It is horrible.


The social workers were devils that went along with the psych nurses. I asked everyone's help from day 1 his phone doesn't work and he wasn't getting the supplement drink. They did not help with either. I called the omnbudsman to check on him, she said she did and he said that he was getting physical therapy and his phone worked. I had the nurse bring the phone to him and neither the nurse nor our loved one could get it to work, plus his physical therapy was over since they called me to tell me this. Someone's lying. I called her back and told her. Nothing.


They have thwarted us every step of the way to make him better. I have heard horror stories where once you go into a nursing home you have to pay for a lawyer to get them out. It's totally true.


I have never been scared in all my life as I am for our loved one. Please pray he goes to the Dr. on April 1st and she will help him. She is at the best hospital.

Willow, if possible, could you tell us why your love one was originally placed into a nursing home? Usually nursing homes do not take patients unless they meet a certain criteria for needing such care. Knowing your love one's health issues would help us understand the situation.
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Reply to freqflyer
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I am so very sorry. My mom went into a nursing home for rehab and overall she received good care. There was one LPN that double dosed her Parkinson’s meds so she could save a trip back to mom’s room later.

I was very upset that mom was overdosed. I told the social worker and the director of nursing.

I also called mom’s pharmacist to see if the double dose would hurt her. She made a good point. She said, “If the are doing this to your mom, they are doing it to others.”

She urged me to report it to the social worker and the director of nursing. It was handled to my satisfaction. Your case is different.

Others will have suggestions for you. I hope you find a resolution soon.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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Praying for him to go to the Dr. and get help.  Tell Dr. if he has to be in a nursing home, you want him moved to a different one immediately and ask Dr. how to do that.  Do you need order from Dr. to get him transferred? or what?  Tell Dr. what's been going on there, too. 

Others here with more experience will help you.
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Reply to lilhelp
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worriedinCali Mar 26, 2020
You can tell the doctor whatever you want but at present time, transfer to another facility immediately is most likely not going to happen.
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