Do other caregivers suffer from PTSD symptoms?

Consider the importance of a clean healthy diet (stress can cause one to over-under-or choose numb out foods-avoid sugar if you don't already), exercise (all kinds - from yoga, stretching, bike riding (?), to aerobics) and meditation. Therapy certainly can be helpful, but it is just a part of a puzzle of self-care. If I felt a therapist wasn't taking me seriously, I would focus on that during a session-how you experience those feelings. Those feelings are representative, perhaps, of how you have been feeling - in general - or something deeper. Important to re-evaluate if that particular therapist is a good match. One needs to get the energy out somehow and moving/exercise, diet are important components to your well-being and ability to function when dealing with psychological and emotional stressors.

http://www.alz.org/greateriowa/ have you tapped into your local resources. Ptsd is a symptom of stress whenever there is change. And being overwhelmed at the long time and constant stresses of caregiving. Our area in Florida has volunteers that will even come into the home to give the caregiver a break. I highly recommend taki g care of yourself by daily go ing yourself even 10 minutes if fresh air. Also going to some educational classes about dementia and caregiving. Watch Teepa Snow on YouTube and read about her GEMS along with your local resources. God bless you.

I know I have tons of health issues now. I took care of my mom for like 5 years moving her, managing her medications, etc. Thankfully she is now in long term care, but the damage to me is done. I am having all kinds of physical and psychological issues. I would love a care givers support group to just vent and hear others and know I am not alone. Taking care of a parent who is rather young in many standards (75) is a huge challenge. Your life is put on hold to care for that person even if you have a family and kids of your own. Worrying if something is going to happen or having to jump to the hospital because she fell and broke her C2 and what is going to happen now, did she burn herself on the stove again and more. It is a major toll - panic, anxiety, and so much more. Yes I totally think there is an element of PTSD.

You have made a difficult, but great decision for your Mom and yourself! Instead of opting for Assisted Living, we had my 93 yr. old Mother-in-law who has severe dementia, move in with us seven months ago! Talk about PTSD! Being a caregiver is a 24/7 job, and, yet, my Mother-in-law is bored and has no friends. I do not have the medical expertise to properly care for her. The whole situation has taken a tremendous toll on my marriage, as well as my physical and emotional health. Rest assured that you have made the wisest decision for both your Mom and yourself!

Singing hymns at church start the tears flowing for me. People in the next pew must think "what's wrong with that woman?" But then I recall that my mother would be proud that I was in church and THAT makes me smile.

You are not alone in this. Make sure to interview as many therapists as you need to to find a good one. Also, consider EMDR as it has been used for the last 30 years with the military suffering from PTSD. Google it and learn about it. I have found it to be the best thing in addition to talk therapy and an antidepressant. Most important, don't neglect this nor yourself. God bless.

In my case, I had many symptoms you describe. Mother was forced in to Personal Care from Independent Living(IL) after IL aggressively took over her Health Care ignoring me having POA of Health Care. It was a total disaster when she was injured. The Administrator defied her Dr.'s orders, my POA of Health Care and she and her staff were dirty fighters, liars and make-up artists (of stories ). With each Injury, Negligent Act, etc, I stayed with Mother while being made the scapegoat, trying to nurse her back to health as they cut, cut and cut my hours. I went from staying with mother full time to 4 hours a day 5 days a week. My brother and a cousin gave the facility support in the beginning. Brother got wise to their act when we needed Nurses Aid to stay with her 8 hours a night for at least 2 months at $25.00 per hour. I took the other 16 hours per 24 hour period. I suffered much of what you described. To get help, I joined the choir at my Church and attend bible studies. After praying with a leader in the choir group we got the word that there was an opening in a Facility that Mother, myself and son visited. Within days we had her moved. We made the decision to move her after talking with residents, we were invited there to lunch, we were impressed. WE got mom out of the bad facility and into the good one. Now I can stay with Mother most of the time again with my son here for 4 to 6 hours approx 4 to 5 days a week. We can have Mother to our home during the day or on overnights. Angiety is gone. Is there something about the facility that is triggering PTSD. Look into other facilities. Hope for you that you find a facility that does not give you PTSD if that is the problem. It might not be your mental state at all. Check it out but if it doesn't fit move on quickly to find a resolve. God Bless

Please research/google the topic "compassion fatigue". This is a very real syndrome that many caregivers, nurses, chaplains, social workers, law enforcement officers, etc. experience. There is quite a bit of information out there as well as support groups.  compassion fatigue.org is a great resource source. Compassion fatigue will make you feel as if you are out of control, anxious or depressed. There is a difference between CF and PTSD.  I hope this information helps & I hope that Aging.com would address the topic as well.  I would be interested to hear if others have dealt with this as well.  

Mom lived with me for about 5 years. When she passed away the house was so empty and lonely and I had centered my life around her for all those years. I had such a hard time trying to pick up my life and thought the same as you... Why couldn't I? Why was I having so much trouble? After 8 months of trying it alone I found a great counselor. Sometimes a good one is very hard to find. I wanted one that would take me for a period of time (not indefinitely) and also one that would teach me the tools that I needed to handle the things I was having problems with on my own. I was upfront with her from the beginning about what I expected. I started taking Lexipro (small dosage) for the anxiety and sleep problems, and started, with the help of the counselor, filling myself back up. I started slow mostly doing quiet things like walking, riding a bike, planting a garden, and doing some small crafts with my hands. Things that no one could take away, but simple things that brought me joy. I see my counselor once a month and we check in with each other. We work on sleep issues (a bad pattern I got into from Mom's schedule), and each month we work on a step to bring me closer to wholeness for myself. As the months string together I am able to see that there are many more "good" months than bad. I still am careful about the energy I expend with other people. I am still sort of fragile that way. I think that comes from years of doing for others. I steer clear of those who aren't supportive, and I have come to find that just being family doesn't allow you the privilege of being in my life if you aren't loving and kind. Regardless if you are family or not, if the drama and crisis are there, then you probably aren't a good addition to the quiet peaceful life I choose to lead. When Mom passed I realized that I had become sort of hollow from putting myself on hold for all those years. I had let go of all that I used to be to see to her needs. Dealing with doctors, hospitals, and life and death decisions was a bit like doing battle everyday. It left me anxious, sleep deprived, jumpy, and constantly on guard. It took time to get there, and it takes time and work to relearn something different. Be good to yourself, keep supportive people close, lose those who are not even if they are family, and talk to someone who can help walk with you on your journey. You will learn more than you can imagine about you, about your loved one, and about life. This forum is great for information and advice. Good luck, and keep looking for a counselor that fits you. There is one out there I promise.

I firmly believe therapy saved my life. Saying that, therapists are like any other group. Not all mechanics, Hair Stylists, churches, schools, doctors, are a good fit for you. Maybe for someone else , just not for you. Keep shopping until you find one that fits you. I applaud you taking charge of your sessions. Good for you.
About 30 years ago, I started crying and couldn't stop. Fortunately, my subconscious mind had been taking care of me and I had brought a pamphlet home from work on our "CARE" program. Five free visits no one has to know. I called and they got me into one that day. She wasn't a good fit, my second helped me for about 3 years, then I was at a place where I needed to move on. A third helped me through my divorce, etc. I have recently tried a 4th who wasn't a good fit. I think he was having problems of his own.
I was lucky because I was able, among other things, to work through problems with my mother before she died. So, when she went, it was in peace for me. It helped me understand her better. She was mentally abusive, and like almost everyone else here my sibling was no help during both parents decline and death. He had issues with our family situation too.
I hope you can find someone to talk to and this forum is a wonderful place to find help.

I was dxed with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) 20 years ago. Suffered in silence and torment until I decided to take my own life. Told hubby (who had been, as always) oblivious to anything going on and he took me to the hospital. I was given 2 Xanax and within 30 minutes, felt perfectly FINE. I knew then that I could be OK, but it was going to take work.
I didn't think my life was terribly stressful--but as I entered therapy (found the best counselor after 18 years of trying!!) and many years on medication....I made a breakthrough last year and discovered the root cause of my anxiety. Unspeakable abuse, as a child and going on into my adult years. My eldest brother. Once I was able to say the words, speak the truth aout what had happened, my psych dr was ecstatic. "NOW we can treat you!!" 20 years. I REALLY have PTSD. KNOWING what was "wrong" and working at claiming the truth and dealing with it have been so hard, but I am stronger and better. I am almost 61. My abuser is dead. I have forgive him, someday, but not today.
Life can, and will throw at you things you could not believe--and we are resilient enough to handle it, somehow. I am a great believer in GOOD talk therapy. And meds, if necessary. And self care. And forgiveness, of ourselves and others. I'm just beginning to "let go" of a lot of "stuff" I felt was super important, and while still serving others and being a wife, mom and grandma (AND pt caregiver to my aging mother) I take care of ME now, for the first time in my life.
Maybe my last 20 years on earth will be the best. I have hope.

CTTN55, Everyone would tell me she could not live alone anymore and that she would need someone there 24/7. After my bad experiences with the nursing homes and not wanting to leave her to that, I could have either left my husband and move in with Mom indefinitely...or bring her to my home, which is what I ended up doing. I was amazed at the lack of real help but everyone was sure telling me what to do. Hence the anger issues at the medical people and nursing homes....and now toward certain people in general at times, that have no idea of what I went through and how rough. I am working on it, but life sure has a way of hammering on certain people through fate.

OK I guess I am normal. After reading some posts I realize I need to seek some help. The only time I was with a group they were all so sad that the spouse they loved so much was in assisted living. I am thankful that my husband is in assisted living and no longer knows me but yet I find myself crying at strange times.

I have often wondered about that PTSD and how it may relate to the loss of the previous life my wife and I had before her accident 10 years ago. Sometimes it seems strange how the smallest things can set me off. You would think I would be adapted as a professional in any stress related issues but the reality is I am always one event in dealing with anything from feeling over-loaded. The first few years after her severe accident were absolute h*ll with both our life being thrown upside down. I really don't understand since our life now is more routine that I can be so easily agitated, stressed, angered, confused, unable to focus etc. I hope you find some direction and share any help.

Hi everyone

I can relate to this post and it has me wondering if those who are attuned to those they care for as more prone to experiencing ptsd and related symptoms. We tread trying to keep our parents in good health and stable in their elder years and it dawned on me that we are straddling a precarious fence that leaves us exposed to these symptoms - - - -that of keeping them well and alive while simultaneously saying goodbye over time (however long).

What a conundrum! We bond with these people through compassion and care - we are able to put ourselves in their position through trying on the clothes of elderly-hood in attending and predicting their needs. How can we not think of losing them when it is ALWAYS there as a faint type background musak? We also have to face the strong sun and are forced to look into reality of life and death and that one day, we will be in their shoes. It's scary sometimes - a lot of times - and we worry about our own health and future and what will be left after caring for our loved ones. Preemptive grief for our parents (or family we care for) as well as mourning what we used to be oblivious to and are forced to acknowledge in caregiving roles. We also mourn ourselves and what we feel we are missing while caring for our parents (and family). We worry about how much time we have left when caregiving is done and what quality it will be!
The fear the fear the fear of the unknown - the HOW it will play out - and the fear of certainty (the knowledge that life ends as a certainty for all of us).
Anyone who has ever endured separation anxiety as a kid knows how painful it can be and far more - that it is not often recognized in adults and essentially is described with a riduculing label of "codependent". Now I get the vibe of co dependency - I do - but it is also legit to know separating is hard no matter the situation and loss is what precipitates fear. Fear is at the core of PTSD and Anxiety & depression. It drives us to act and sometimes it feels it is driving us crazy for co co puffs.
I don't have the answers but I think we are more aware of loaded issues than those who are not as exposed to these things on a daily and deep level.
I read and reread staring at the sun which is available online in PDF form. It is very helpful in learning to live life more richly without all the fear of death.

Best

CR0105, I didn't read all the answers posted here but I did read your long explanation of all the family issues that have brought you to this feeling of PTSD. I think you have to let go of some of it and stop feeling responsible for the rest of your family in order to preserve your own health. I'm not saying to cut the family loose, just suggesting you let them work out their own problems and you work out yours. And find a therapist that is on your side. However, if you continue to accept things as they are, no matter of professional help will make any difference. Good luck.

The advice to join a support group is important. It is a save place. l learned so much listening to other caregivers. ALSO, GO OUT AND HAVE FUN when possible!

Did you put your mother there against her will? Could you be feeling guilty about it?
After my sister passed of cancer at the age of 47, two years ago, my father suffered two strokes and became 100% dependant and demented.
Against my other sister's will, we took care of him at home for one year but then his health deteriorated to the point that we are now arranging to have placed at the local home (which was always her preference) where he will be monotired by professionals (I hope) throughout the 24 hours because at home, that is not possible as my mother is in deep depression and cannot handle so much activity around her.
We cannot feel guilty for the fate of our elderly. They lived their life. We do what CAN for them and when we can't anymore, we have to take other measures. There is no other way. Life is too short and it's becoming even shorter as we can see if we look around us.
I hope you find the peace you need and deserve.

Very interesting thread. I Identify with so much. The mistaken belief that my mom relocating to a care facility was going to somehow "change everything" and be a big relief. The realization that I've come out on the other side with some kind of frickin' generalized anxiety pattern. The importance of a good therapeutic relationship. My 10 year journey with my mom was intense, full of all the typical complications and difficulties. But, in the process I was forced to confront longstanding issues in our (enmeshed) relationship--one that I'd been trying to extricate myself from for as long as I can remember. The process of exposure and confrontation that the experience bought me has been invaluable to helping me overcome virtually lifelong issues. I began to reach out for counseling support the last year of taking care of mom in-house. I pretty quickly connected with a good therapist (in fact, after feeling the first didn't take me seriously) And it has really helped me further this process. The stress is real ma'am. The effects of it are real. I'm in the process of trying to put myself back together on so many levels. But, as messed up as I am right now, and as untogether as my life feels right now, I'm seeing the other side and I know I'll make it. The proper counseling relationship has everything to do with that. Take care!

I am so glad I read this today. I never thought of it as PTSD, but I'm sure that's the best way to describe it. My husband's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's for almost 4 years and we can trace it back to about 2005. Last June it became unsafe for him, me and others, so he's in a home. Was the worst day of my life when I took him, and the guilt still tears me up sometimes. I can now recognize the beginnings of a panic attack and have medication to take. He became combative and they sent him to a hospital psych ward - worst thing ever. He was overmedicated with haldol and there for a month. Never was the same afterwards. Walked when he went in and now his legs are useless. He went downhill rapidly, wouldn't eat, talk or open his eyes. We called in hospice and based on his vitals they said, Yes, it was time to do that. They took him off all his behavioral/Alz meds, and within a week he's now eating, talking (not making much sense though) eyes open, watches some tv, etc. The combativeness came back so now going back on the meds.
I'm tired, confused, feeling guilty, lonely and fear of the unknown is what really tears me up. I have a therapist and take medication, but my daughter gives me the most relief, she talks me through those periods, prays for me and is my rock. I learned the phrase anticipatory grief just recently, and that is surely what this is, plus my horrible fears related to financial concerns. It seems like I am just walking through life like a zombie, waiting, waiting, waiting. I cannot seem to move forward with anything. I'm sorry this is so long, and believe me I feel your pain and agony. I pray that God will take him to heaven where he belongs. I hope the PTSD issues will not remain too long afterward. They say that theses diseases take many years off of caregiver's lives. I believe it.

As a firm believer in therapy, I'm writing to encourage you to keep trying, finding a new one if necessary.  Give it some time.  I put my sister in a Board and Care home after nearly a year of being her sole caregiver. I have had many mixed feelings since then, such as relief, guilt, sadness and depression.  My caregiving year was a very traumatic time.  I suffered health issues, and I knew I couldn't continue, but it was a very difficult decision to make.  Please keep trying to find a therapist/counselor you can relate to. I remember the first time I went to therapy (many years ago when I was clinically depressed).  I was prescribed anti-depressants. This combination literally saved my life. I think one of the most wonderful things about going to counseling is that I was able to say things out loud to another person that I'd never said in my life to anyone, and then to get help dealing with these issues. What an incredible relief to get these things out in the open that I had been carrying around.  May I also suggest "bibliotherapy," books that are about therapy, about real people healing, about co-dependency, any book that helps you realize that others have gone through what you're going through. Melody Beatty has written many about co-dependency, which are invaluable to me. So the very best of luck to you. One day at a time.... find things that make you happy and less stressed... understand that you did the very best you could with the resources you had available. Forgive yourself.

Katie22, you write: "Then doctors kept suggesting rehab to her either in nursing homes and then in my home." Doctors actually suggest that elders who need rehab go to live with a child? That takes a lot of nerve!

I can see this happening to me. My father died in a rehab center, so my mother would be terrified to go to one. Of course she would think she could manage by herself in her own condo.

Thanks to this site, I have all the wording ready if any doctors dared to suggest that my mother rehab in MY home..

I am in a similar situation as the rest of everyone here. My Mom is 92 and still lives on her own, but I help her a lot. I stay very involved in my family's lives and still work full time. I also attend college as I always wanted to get my Bachelor's Degree even though I am close to retirement. I plan to continue working after I retire by starting my own business. I think that is what helps me through the stress. I stay busy all the time. When I do have down times I just enjoy it. Try doing something good for yourself. I take my Mom with me once a month to get full body massages. She loves it as do I. It is something that makes me feel good that I can do with my Mom. It helps her with her mind and circulation. Having pets helps too. Mom and I both have dogs. Plus I have 2 cats. Just petting one helps to calm you. There are places you can go to get PTSD therapy that uses horses. I grew up around horses and it is a very humbling experience to be around these gentle giants. It helps with your anxiety and gives you peace of mind.

My step mom, after dad FINALLY went into the nursing home, couldn't sleep, had frequent crying spells, terrible dreams, anger outbursts, and over reacting to sudden noises. She had decided to give herself a few weeks but she didn't get better. She went to counseling but didn't have a good experience, but found a different counselor - one who actually had been a caregiver too. What a difference four months made for her! I think what i am trying to say - is that try counseling if you are not getting better, and try different counselors until you find the right one. Good luck and God bless.

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It took about three years of terrible malfunctioning until we got my mom--horrifically--into Al.

Once she was there, all was well. Except with me. I often asked my self if I had PTSD. I was a wreck driving to the AL ( I visit every day). I wanted to vomit in the parking lot before I went in.

But time is the great healer (and having my mom on the correct meds!), and after two years, I noticed a big difference. It is all good now. I visit, I leave. Life goes on.

Give it time (and the correct meds!).

Yes I truly believe I had, and still have some PTSD after the trauma of my Mom's falling, so much blood everywhere with a compound fracture, and then the bumbling hospitals and nursing homes and sudden delirium 3x. My Mom was fine one minute and in raging delirium the next it seemed out of the blue. In the first nursing home she developed a terrible bed sore...this nursing home was rated 5 stars by Medicare, and it seemed to me we were signaled out for mistreatment though I have since heard others have had problems there. I feel now that I cannot trust hardly anyone. Then doctors kept suggesting rehab to her either in nursing homes and then in my home. Everything changed. I was a care giver now 24/7. My life as I formerly knew it was over. Finally the last nursing home rehab was better, but she was declining so rapidly that hospice was suggested. Everytime I mentioned hospice before to doctors, it was brushed off. She was finally bedridden in my home with wonderful hospice people, bedridden, completely incontinent and I had to deal with the stage 4 wound and basically be a nurse when the hospice people were not there. I felt at times like I was in a horror movie. My Mom did not deserve this, and neither did I. Bad dreams, lack of sleep, jumping at loud noises, not liking it when people follow too close behind me in the store. I am so angry at so many people, that I won't pour money into some probably incompetent couselor's pocket now. I saw too much incompetence. Everything seems to have doubled in price and the speed limit even was raised while I was taking care of my poor Mom. She passed away last year and I miss the old Mom when she was well, but not the terror I went through during her decline. Throughout all this she was the sweetest patient, and I cry a lot sometimes and wonder what the heck happened to us. I am feeling and sleeping better, have started doing little things for me, but often feel anger issues if I feel I am being slighted in any way. I am reading a lot of self help books and trying to find even the little nice things in life, but I wonder if this has effected me to a degree for the rest of my life. On the positive side, things that others find a huge chore or problem I seem to handle well...after what I went through, often other's problems seem small and trivial. A lovely sunrise and the freedom to go for a walk seem like a wonderful gift to me now. Keep seeing a counselor if it does help you, by all means.

I had my share of terrible counselors so decided not to return. I felt that going to a therapist was an unequal relationship and that being a client, or patient, put me in the role of victim, no matter how nice the therapist was. Also, just walking into a therapist's office defined whatever my problem was as an unusual one, not one solvable by ordinary means in my community nor by the passage of time. There was another factor to consider and that was that if I used insurance, whatever the "diagnosis" was would go on my medical record...forever. And that could affect my future employment. The laws are changing as is HIPAA. Even something that might appear benign might later on not be, such as "depression," which might not be kept confidential with the changing laws. If you see a therapist, they have to justify it with a disease diagnosis if you use insurance.

Keeping all that in mind, I decided not to go. I decided that the best cure would be the passage of time. Not only that, looking back over the past five or six years, I'm noticing so many positive changes. The shorter viewpoint might seem bleak, but the longer view reveals much improvement in all areas.

It's just like your credit score. They say not to panic if it goes down, even if it jumps down a lot. You have to take the longer view. Look at where you were a year ago, or two, or five. There are minor setbacks, true. Try to see for yourself if something is a blip or a real downward trend. Gather the resources you already have, reach out and find new ones, and find the strength you have within you.

If you are really going down, which does happen (especially financially, since the way the financial system is built it is stacked against those who are already struggling) then know that it does turn around. It turns around so slowly and imperceptibly that often we barely notice it. Then, we climb out of that muck, again, so slowly we hardly notice we are doing it. Look back and you will see just how far you have climbed.

It is time for you to take of yourself. Spend time with friends... Go to lunch... Go shopping. You should not feel guilty this is not easy time for you. I took care of my mom until she died about a year ago and now my husband has been diagnosed with dementia... Try a local support group... Knowing you are not alone will help I can totally sympathize with you... Remember you will not be able to help anyone if you don't take of your self. I find meditation possibly yoga soothing. Long walks... deep breathing sharing with friends and family. Get help for the family member do you can have time to breath. Again don't feel guilty you are doing everything you can

I can say a resounding yes to this question too. I'm up again at 4:30 in the morning typing this cause once again I've woke up crying from nightmares.
Some about my Mom, some not.

I always knew that losing Mom would be the hardest thing I would ever go through. It's already been almost two years and I still have not gotten over it. My Hubs and I rented a movie this weekend called "Collateral Beauty"
Without giving too much away, it was about this man who lost someone and couldn't even say this person's name or that they died, as if not doing so would make it not true. I almost can relate. I think I numbed myself so much before, during and after my Mom's last two years that I am still numb. I find myself just staring off into space, totally lost in my thoughts of that period. Or sitting somewhere that she and I used to go and getting so lost in the memories that it feels wrong to me when I snap out of it that she isn't right beside me.

Tonight's dream has me dreading going back to sleep.

I have changed for sure. I think every experience we go through in our live's changes us. Some for the better, and some not. I know I have changed and I don't expect to ever be the person I was again.

Obviously you need to take care of yourself. Finding a good therapist is one step. I would also seek out a mindfulness/meditation instructor. If none is in your area look for online instruction or read a book by Jon Kabat-Zinn. You can get your health back.