My father is 90, not taking meds, burned pots all over, house filthy and cluttered (took 2cleaning ladies 7 hours to get a 1000sf apt cleaned), paranoid about "children stealing everything" he has misplaced, (even after being on quetiapine(seroquil) for a month which calmed the constant yelling cursing and raging 24x7, is constantly packing to go back to the old country but can't figure out how to use the phone to call a travel agent, is going to sell the house for $30,000 (worth 30xthat) take all the money in the bank and go to Europe to spend it, but won't pay for the cleaning ladies, his supplemental insurance, real estate taxes due in 2 weeks. I have talked to (after a hospital stay for a urinary problem) several social workers, nurses, geriatric physicians, physical therapist, home health aid, an elder care lawyer, all of whom used the identical phrase "you have a problem". I see 7 options: 1) give up my life in another city and move in to take care of him (this is his solution because I am "cost free"). 2) move him to my home (sometimes he's agreeable sometimes not) 3) put him in a nursing home in his city (but he wont go voluntarily) 4) put him in a nursing home in my city (he wont voluntarily) 5) pay someone live w him (he will refuse to let them stay) 6) court battle for guardianship 7) walk away. APS will only keep him for 30 days if he is a threat to others (he isnt) and then release him. His older brother is 94 and his aunts lived to between 98 and 107. Guardianship means an end to a relationship w him. Means a court hearing, he gets say In Who the guardian is and if he won't accept me the court appoints one. Obviously, Guardianship is a last resort.
Has anyone else dealt with a situation like this and what did you do?