My moms husband can no longer take care of her and can't find an affordable nursing home. What options do they have?

Follow
Share

He has assets in his name only, 2nd marriage for both, they were widowed, now he wants the children to place her in a nursing home...what options do I have to get her care using her security income only...I can not afford a nursing home for her by myself.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
19

Answers

Show:
jlc, why do you no qualify for medicaid? Is it because he is still at home? I would look into medicaid for LTC. Even with a SOC would be better. Some states like California have In Home service which can help you keep him home longer, but
check out the LTC (Long term care) portion of the Medicaide program. Alot of time the person might not quilify if they are staying at home but does indeed quilify if their enter a NH.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I agree somewhat with Rock-in-a Hard Place. Hiring a geriatric care specialist is first on the list. I have found that Group Homes are less than desirable....... Certainly no better than keeping her at home.
I would evaluate the financial situation. Married Filing Jointly? Look at the last five Returns. Husband has assets in his name only? Ho old are these two? How long have they been married? Do they live in one of the community property states? An elder care lawyer should be able to point you in the right direction. Are the children theirs or just hers?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My husband is at home. He has newly diagnosed senile dementia and also esophageal cancer. When and if he has to go nursing home our insurance only pays for 12 days...what in God's name do we do? We make $3500.00 railroad retirement and have no savings, please help. We do not qualify for Medicaid.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

What if you have to go to nursing home and make 3500.00 per both for retirement, have no savings and cannot receive Medicaid because you receive too much, what happens to the loved one?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

To all of Nona's children: Where would you like to put your mother? Regardless of her marital status ( her husband could divorce her even at this late stage of life),
it is up to all of you to get together and try to fulfill your mother's wishes for a comfortable, worry-free, end-of-life. My suggestion: Divide the cost among you. Ask Papa to kick in his fair share.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Chimonger, I have also heard of this type of tracking done, I know of several older adults that would have normally married but have choice not to because of finacial reasons, mainly back child support. With the new systems of tracking SSN# from state to state they are finding more and more dead beat dads who owe.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

1. Look for group elder care homes in your area.
2. Hire a geriatric care manager for a few hours to give you the local resources
3. Talk to an elder care lawyer.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

IT is absolutely proper to ask advice from Elder Law or legal aid.
Your local Area Agency on Aging usually has volunteer lawyers come in to counsel folks needing that kind of advice, and more.
The worst case of a State pursuing a near-destitute elder,
was a sickly Veteran, in his 70's, married a partner in WA, in his dotage.
He had former spouses in CA, as well as adult children--those legal cases had been closed DECADES before he married the gal in WA.

YET...CA tracked him down and started garnishing his SSI check for past unpaid Child Support--his kids all agreed it was ridiculous.
His SSI check was all he had, and it was only about $500/mo.
Between his and the current wife's SSI, they still didn't clear $1000/mo, and had plenty medical expenses for both of them. They lived in a large 5th wheel trailer they parked anywhere they could find someone to let them.
[[Kinda wondering why they married
--it sure didn't make ANY financial sense!]]
The couple were so overwhelmed, they simply were unable to deal with fighting the State of CA to stop those garnishments.
The State was STILL trying to collect from the wife, after the man died!!!
It was a glaring travesty, something that should NEVER have happened.

Stuff like that happens with joint estates.
Just best to do your homework and footwork before needs arise!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Well ladies, Part of what one of you said is very true to form, however, in California there is medi-cal for LTC which does not leave the remaining spouse without funds. A married couple is allowed up to $113,000.00 in assets, (house and car is exempt) before property becomes an issue and up to $2700.00 monthly income without a SOC. The income remains with the spouse at home. The program is called Spousal Improvishment. There are many companies out there
that deal with estate planning as well. I worked for almost 20 yrs doing medi-cal
and although I have retired I know the program as I also work for a NH as one
of the admissions office staff. Unfortunally, unless there was an agreement between the couple prior to marriage, his assets could possible still be used.
Call your local Social Services office and ask for medi-cal-Medicaid specialist
that can help with LTC application. Good Luck to You
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

As Chimonger says, how spousal assets are treated must vary by state. For my husband to go on Medicaid I had to spend down assets that were in my name only -- for example, I had to withdraw from my 401K plan, paying a penalty in the process. :( But it was ultimately worth it. We applied ahead of need, and as it turned out he has not needed nursing home care -- yet. But we are benefitting from various in-home care and excellent prescription coverage, etc.

So ... Nonaneedscare, check into the specific requirements for your mother's situation. I think that a case worker from Social Services could help you with that task. And I agree that there is probably no such this as "affordable nursing homes" except for the truly wealthy. You should not expect to pay your mother's way, unless you yourself (and your sibs) are relatively wealthy. It doesn't make a lot of sense to pay your mother's way now and to wind up not being able to pay your own way later. Use your extra funds to plan for your own old age. See what public funds mother is eligible for now. This is not being selfish -- it is being sensible.

Starting with Social Services in our county was invaluble when we first faced dementia. I hope it proves very helpful for yuo.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.