Opioid addiction... I don't know what to do.

What is your mom on pain meds for?

My mom is 76 and a "late in life" alcoholic and also abuses Benzo's (like Xanax) which the doctors have been prescribing for decades (yes, decades). Her primary doc and I managed to get her into a senior mental health ward for about a 2 week stay in April. It seemed like the answer to our problems but afterward mom just lapsed back into the habits. She says she's old and not going to live much longer (she's 76) and this is what she wants to do. Unfortunately it drags me around because of the drama, the falls, the injuries, etc. After her last hospital stay (she fell and hit her head in June), I questioned the medical staff when they discharged her quickly. They told me she is capable of making her own decisions and yes, that includes bad decisions. So I've had to accept it and just do my best to protect my life from the fallout. She has the need to spend her days in a numb haze and I guess that's the choice she's made.

Good morning Sarah,

i can’t suggest highly enough that you go to an Al-anon or Nar-anon meeting asap. These meetings are for the LOVED ONES of addicts. They are NOT for the addict and those who want the addict to stop.

Al-anon has historically been for loved ones who are alcoholics. Nar-anon for loved ones of addicts. HOWEVER, an addiction of ANY mind-altering substance is an addiction.

You will find people who can intimately identify with what you’re going through and you’ll get coping strategies for a very difficult situation. They will give you all the support you need. Consider making it a priority. You won’t regret it.

I live in Kentucky and the state, along with the Board of Pharmacy, has the KASPER (Kentucky All Schedule Prescription Electronic Reporting) system. This is where people who have abused medical prescriptions - mostly narcotics but lots of other stuff too, the computer system has caught it, they’re flagged, and once they get on the list it effectively shuts down doctor shopping. Once they’re Kaspered every and any doctor they see including dentists WILL NOT prescribe her anything that’s on the schedule because it increases their liability dramatically but most importantly it’s the RIGHT thing to do. Sounds like your Mom is very, very good at getting prescriptions. I’d start with her PCP in getting her reported. It will not be unusual for your mother to have to provide a urine specimen at any future appointments after she’s been reported. She’ll be checked regularly.

When it’s done (reported, etc) and your mother flies into a rage shrug your shoulders and say it’s because of her prescription history and the state caught it. It’s her consequences. Could be jail.

This is going to sound hardcore however there’s little difference between the “normal” addict and little old ladies scheming doctors. For whatever reason they want a mind altering substance.

Medical power of attorney is not a bad thing to do. It’s obvious your Mom isn’t able to care for herself. If a geriatric case manager is available they can be extremely helpful.

Good luck.

Get her to sign a POA and then have her go to rehab. Not sure how old she is, but she could have a lot of life in her if the addiction issue is addressed. As POA you can take her to ONE doctor who has control of her care. Once I got my elderly aunt seeing just one doctor, the issue was addressed. Nothing stronger than Tylenol now. She is 88 and healthy as a horse!!!

Your in a tough spot Sarah. One good thing, it doesn't seem like she has Currently been taking pills, unless someone's been getting/giving them to her on a regular basis, so detox shouldn't be such a difficult journey, it's just that she Wants them, big difference!

Yes, APS is possibly going to be needed, if she gets belligerent on you. Still, I do reccomend speaking to the Dr who recently Rx'd the Norco to her, to make sure whether or not to give them to her for a specific reason/diagnosis, as you don't want to be in trouble there either! Good Luck!

Thanks everyone. She is in her 80’s and streetwise/educated. It’s so difficult to see her this way.

I dont know if she’s been taking them regularly. I don’t believe she’s had a prescription for a while. According to her medical record...she hasn’t had any prescribed for maybe a year. Also, we don’t see any medical reason for her to take them. There’s some sort of an infection going on, but that’s it.

If she isnt abusing Norco, then it’s taking other meds used for other medical reasons that really are being used to help her sleep. She also takes Benedryl etc to sleep.

Im close to using the word “lawsuit” with kaiser. Can’t believ they fall for this.

She tried getting Norco for a dental procedure and I intercepted that.

So...of course I’m all for her getting off of whatever she’s addicted to. Norco was a regular thing until she ended up in the hospital multiple times and then stayed with me to recover. It’s been over a year since a prescription, so , unless she’s getting it via the mail (don’t think she can), then she’s not drugged up on it right now.

So I guess the title of my post might not be accurate. I just don’t know. She’s always sneaky and trying to get meds. She’s more open about depression, but still goes into screaming rages. Can’t tell what’s addiction, depression or dementia . Could be all three.

A while back we took her to a psych, with the intention of them checking her memory. The intake person said she seems just fine. I didn’t go in for the psych app, but my mom came out and was furious. Said he looked at her medical history and it sounds like he tried to address her abuse of meds. Said she doesn’t have a memory problem. Honestly, I think she was sarcastic and it doesn’t sound like he handled it well.

Sorry this his is so long. Maybe aps will have to be an option. I just hate going there.

As others have said, she shouldn't be made to kick the pills cold turkey. You need to be in touch with the Dr who Rx'd the opioid medication and let him know your Mother's history of abuse, and ask him how to taper, or for his help to get her into treatment for it.

At this point, the meds Are Rx'd, and she should take them per instructions, until you can get advice on how to proceed, as if you withhold them from her, it is YOU who is causing her suffering, and there may be a justifiable reason why she is Rx'd them, and you just do not know it or are privy to the reasons as diagnosed per the Dr. Also, She may well have been quite convincing to the Dr as well, abusers can be quite the Actors, and Not to say she isn't abusing them, but it needs to be figured out with her Dr. It sucks, I'm sure!

Unfortunately addiction is one of the hardest things to overcome. I agree that you cant just stop giving them to her. That could get extremely ugly. APS is a very good idea. They will help you with a solution. She probably cant do it cold turkey so help her with professionals that know what they are doing. I hope everything works out for you and your family. Be safe.

If your mom doesn’t want to get clean, there isn’t much you can do, and you certainly cannot handle this alone. She can’t just stop taking it. She will have to go to a facility for treatment and if she doesn’t want to go, she won’t cooperate. Have you considered calling Adult Protective Services? She has mental issues and is certainly a danger to herself. I would call her doctors and inform them of her addiction. There is such a fear of malpractice now, I can guarantee they’ll stop prescribing this stuff.

How old is your mother and what is her medical condition? She is under doctor's care and is being prescribed this medication, right?

Opioid addiction is a terrible thing. Your mother cannot just stop taking the medication without both wanting to and being in a treatment facility. Withdrawal symptoms are real and terrible to go through.

I had a family member who was addicted to heroin, he was motivated to kick it and spent months in a facility. Unfortunately the lure of the drugs was too great and he overdosed within a year of getting clean. I know others who have managed to kick the habit, but it is not an easy road.

Drug addiction is not a lack of will power, nor is it a moral failing, but it is incredibly hard on the families' of addicts. You may find that an organization like Narc Anon can help you deal with the situation.

Sorry no offer of help, just an understanding of how difficult the situation can be.