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As POA/AIF I have been managing my mother's life, finances, healthcare, and everything for the last four years. I have moved her cross country to be near me in a Memory Care facility and moved her to two other facilities near by for several reasons. My mother is thankfully financially secure. I have an older sister and younger brother...none of us have ever been very close. My sister is the successor Trustee and has jealously issues that "Mom and Dad chose me" and my brother has no direct responsibilities via the POA and Trusts. Based on my mother's attorney's advise they suggested that my sister act as Special Trustee and sign distributions to me in lieu of going to court for compensation to avoid court/lawyer fees and my being taxed. We all agreed that $1500/month was reasonable compensation for all that I did. I also left a six digit full time job in order to have more time to coordinate all of my mom's care and management, which has impacted my husband and my finances although fortunately we are able to manage. I now work as an Independent Contractor for short term job assignments in order to give my mother the time and attention needed to manage her affairs and care. The small amount of compensation doesn't compare at all to what I was making and is easily affordable for my mom. The compensation for me serves as recognition and value of my time for the job I had to take on. Initially my sister agreed and signed the distributions for a little over a year. Then 30 months ago she decided that "God told her" not to sign any more distributions. After trying to reason with her and compromise she remains firm that she "felt pressured" to accept before and feels it is "morally and ethically wrong" for me to receive compensation. She feels this way given direction she has received from her church friends...even though my brother, the attorneys and the POA direction in the document supports compensation. I have compromised and suggested that I be back paid for the last 30 months at $1000/month (as opposed to the previously agreed to $1500) and going forward would share in the distribution of $500 to my sister, $500 to my brother and $500 to me if they took on the roles of following up on mother's daily care via phone and email and skype while I continue to handle the bills, investments, healthcare, etc. that only I can do as POA. My sister point blank refuses to agree to compensation for me even if it means I need to go through court system and attorneys, which will cost a lot more, in order to receive my fair compensation. I welcome thoughts on this situation. It simply does not feel right that I have done all of the work for the last four years ++ future and any inheritance will be equally divided. It also feels like a complete disregard for the value of the work I have done for our mother...while they are able to simply call and make a few visits a year for a few days. Thank you for your consideration and I welcome your thoughts and comments!

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I was my mothers DPOA for four years. I looked after her for six years - however, the first two years included my father who was a wreck physically but still sharp mentally. I did do all the looking after the first two years as well but it made my father feel good to still be a part of things so I'd take him the checks to sign and kept him in the loop. I didn't mind, I enjoyed the time we spent together.

Anyhoo- after my dad passed my mother made me her DPOA and I did everything from then on.

My moms DPOA document allow for me to be paid but I chose not to take it. It wasn't a big moral or ethical issue - hubby and I didn't need the money - don't get me wrong, it would have been nice to have it as we aren't wealthy by any means - but we do get by just fine.

Also - one of my brothers would have lost his mind if he found out I was being paid. As it was, he was pretty bent out of shape that I was chosen DPOA instead of him. He being sooo much smarter than me and all. Brother and I never have gotten along - understatement- but we had managed to come together for the good of our parents and I didn't want to mess that up. To his credit, the DPOA document had almost a full page dedicated to the care and comfort of my moms cat - including paying whom ever had the cat which was brother. He did turn that down when I made him aware of the option.

I don't begrudge anyone who does take payment allowed legally in a DPOA doc. In fact, I think it very prudent to be paid up front - as legally allowed by contract or documentation verses waiting for an inheritance that may never come. If my own family had needed the money, I might have made a different choice.
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cmagnum, from what I've read on a couple of legal sites, the POA may be compensated unless that is specifically prohibited in the document. The compensation must be "reasonable." Check some legal sites and see if the opposite shows up.

I have no idea whether "most" POAs are compensated. This arrangement was set up by a lawyer. Given that the mother can afford this amount and agreed to it in the beginning, it seems to me payment should be carried out, regardless of what happens in "most" cases.
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Why did you let this go 30 months? Why on earth are you offering to accept less than was agreed upon? Did you have a message from god, too?

Go back to the lawyer, explain that the current arrangement is not working, you need back pay and the agreed-upon pay going forward. If the lawyer feels they can't represent you (conflict of interest?) then find an attorney who specializes in Elder Law and proceed from there.

You went into this role with certain expectations that were agreed upon and set up by a lawyer. You should be entitled to have those expectations met.
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Unless the Durable POA states that there is to be compensation or there is a caregiver contract between the parent and adult child who is durable POA, I believe there is a conflict of interest in the POA being compensated. Most POAs are not compensated.
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