Does anyone feel as if you are the only one in your family that is functioning in reality while the rest of your family has created a myth?

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My siblings and I were born over a 16 year period. The initial part of my parent's marriage was an Ozzie and Harriet experience. The middle and latter years were chaotic with arguments, heavy drinking, financial difficulties, and a lack of stability in private. In public, life was always "Ozzie and Harriet" and all secrets were to be family secrets. Now, my father is dead and my mother functions in an unhealthy way that the older siblings and younger siblings refuse to acknowledge. Being the middle child, I had a view of the good and bad times. Since I am living closest to my mother, I have to deal with day to day issues. The "myth-keepers" make caregiving difficult because they refuse to deal with reality. Also, I have to tiptoe around them when I talk to them to avoid confrontations. I am ready to "divorce" everyone as much as possible with the exception of my mother. Am I the only person going through this type of situation?

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I have to choose my battles and for the most part keeping my mouth shut and my blood pressure down has worked so far. You are in my prayers.
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was taking a similar route with my mother but I decided to move to Al to take care of my mother. It was not met without opposition and nothing has been easy since. I found out things that I wish that I didnt no about my siblings because it shattered my illusion of us being a close family. I understand you wanting to divorce them because there is enough pull in caring for your parent and yourself. It is too much of a drain to deal with added foolishness. But I look to god to sustain me and I know that this is what he has prepared me for and they are not equiped to care for her as well. So I have learned to ignore the stuff that wont profit me in my quest and do the best I can do.
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I understand your situation completely and no you are not alone. I am also a middle child with siblings that bury their heads in the sand when it comes to caring for my mother. My father passed in 2003 of lung cancer and it was not known by us until he was at death's door. I lived in Georgia at the time and I knew he had a health issue but never thought it was cancer. When I was a child my father was never sick; rarely had a cold. My siblings resides in Al. same state, same city, heck , one lived in the same neighborhood and didnt have a clue. It
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There are nearly 20 years between oldest and youngest in my family of 7. I am the oldest and I have often thought that though we are full blood sibs my youngest brother and I had different parents! This is neither good nor bad; it just is. At my father's memorial service the oldest daughters prepared a eulogy, with input from the others. Youngest brother said he heard about a side of Dad he didn't know. In our family, I don't think there is any need to tiptoe around the differences. We each have our own realities, and that's it. (But, heck, maybe everyone is tiptoeing around me and I don't know it!)

I can understand your desire to "divorce" your sibs. Maybe that is best at this time. I probably wouldn't spend a lot of effort trying to avoid confrontations, but I'm the oldest, the bossy one, not the middle child peacemaker!

You are definitely not alone. I don't think you can deal with this in a way that will satisfy everyone, so satisfy yourself and your mother.

You are a very insightful person. Your mother is lucky to have you.
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