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I am an only child, with no other relatives. I have no money, I am really close to being on the street myself. My mother is 75 years old and mentally sick, but refuses to go on medication because of this she is homeless. Her and I have never gotten along, and argue and fight whenever I try to help in the few ways I can.


I feel alone and like a failure. She has been on the street for 10 years now, and I have no idea how to help her. I don’t want her to die on the street, but cannot have her in my life. I live with roommates, and can barely afford rent. I really have no idea what to do. She is in the hospital every other day with pneumonia from sleeping in the car. Its not right, but don’t know what to do.

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Sonishee, Can you apply for food stamps for you and also your mom? Not sure if she would qualify due to homelessness but maybe you would. Take care.
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I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. There are good suggestions here, but, I would also add that if your mother is deemed competent, then, she can't be forced to go to a long term care facility against her will. Is she on board with applying for benefits? She could apply for disability (I suggest an attorney to help her with that.) She might qualify for various programs or funds. But, if she is competent and refuses, then, that's her choice. I have discovered that even though a person is mentally ill, as long as they are not deemed a danger to themselves or others, they can't be forced to take medication or live in a certain place against their will.

I might suggest finding a support group or agency that works for the rights of the mentally ill in your community to try to find resources for them. And, if she consents, maybe, they can help. I would try to learn to not blame yourself though. You can't be responsible for her, if she resists.
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It is illegal to "dump" homeless or mentally ill people.

www.yellowstonelaw.com/blog/2018/01/is-patient-dumping-illegal.shtml

Next time Mom is admitted, have them evaluate her. If what you wrote is found true, she needs to be placed in LTC facility on Medicaid. You can explain that you are financially unable to contribute to her care or to obtain guardianship. She then can become a ward of the state.

Don't back down. Its the Social Workers job to find Mom a place.
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Soni, Ahmijoy gave you good advice. That may be the best way to get her to receive assistance since you’re limited as to what you can do on your own.

I just want to add that I fully understand you feeling alone and like a failure, although that is not fair to yourself and not realistic. Just look at the situation objectively, you’ve not created this situation for your mom, on the contrary you are trying to help her any way you can, despite not getting along, despite being rejected. That reads good daughter to me from many angles, believe me.

Aside from the assistance you want to help her obtain, I can assure you that the best thing you can do for your mom is to try to get your own life in order, in every sense; so that you are prepared to never find yourself in the same situation your mother is now.

The second best thing you can do for her is to make an effort to really comprehend that your mom is truly ill and likely facing more mental and emotional challenges than you can imagine. So try not to resent her, it is not fair for either one of you. Also, be more understanding towards yourself, you are not to blame Soni. Life has not been easy and you just kept trying, that includes trying to be a good daughter under very challenging circumstances.

I hope you do find the basic assistance your mom needs, and the peace of mind and heart that you deserve!
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The next time she winds up in the hospital, go to their Social Services department and speak with a social worker. Honestly explain to them that your mother is sick, physically and mentally and also destitute. You know she will die on the streets if she doesn’t get help. She may become a ward of the state. While you’re there, explain your own situation to see if there’s anything they can do to help you.
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