My mom is 80 years old.
I'm her only child (I'm 54 w/bad hip bursitis) but still work.
My mom has Asthma, spinal degeneration, osteopenia & possibly cancer.
We noticed a lump in her chest about her breast last Doctor visit in April this year.
When the doc suggested mom get some testing down for the lump she broke down crying & said she doesn't want any treatment or " to know anything" because she watched her mom die of breast cancer 30 years ago & how she suffered w/all "poisons they gave her" (chemo, radiation, surgery, etc).
So just last week my mom fell because she was extremely dizzy and has been dizzy since the doc appt.
She refused to go to the hospital when she managed to crawl to her bedroom & call me on her cell phone.
Paramedics had to come to get my mom off the floor into her bed (I was alone & could lift her).
I have been over to my kind every day to keep her company, refill her water bottles, clean up a little, etc.
She hasn't washed her hair in 5 months, doesn't bathe (she's not gotten into the tub/shower for fear of falling) and she's so off balance she can't/won't even attempt a "horse bath" (she said she was doing this prior to her fall) and smells of urine really bad since she doesn't change her sweat pants very often.
She has a weaker, and will on occasion make it by herself during the time I'm not there to go to the bathroom to potty, but she mostly urinates in a small, plastic bucket which is in her bedroom beat her bed.
The smell as soon as you enter the house in unbelievable.
I'm am ashamed to say I am totall embarrassed to have ANYONE come to her house because of this.
I keep telling my mom she needs to get some medical help because she can't "heal" her sore body (from the fall) at home.
She needs to be in a hospital where she can get the correct help, physical therapy, etc.
She starts crying and says "I'm killing her by the way I talk her"...
She is very manipulative & becomes very angry w/me when I suggest anything.
She keeps saying to me "your tired huh of taking care of me aren't you?"...
Always throwing the guilt at me & then we argue...
God knows I love my mom but being around her is becoming very, very stressful & I am lost at what is going to happen to her if her situation continues & gets worse.
I have no power of attorney (she won't allow it).
No additional income to pay for a visiting nurse for my mom.
Impetus ally filed bankruptcy last year because my income was so low helping out my mom.
She is on Medicaid & Medicare.
Has a reverse mortgage on her home w/only $50-$60,000 left as equity so a nursing home isn't an option.
I am depressed I know over this but I won't take an anti depressant drugs my doc may prescribe.
I do have hypertension, but thank god it is controlled w/my meds.
PLEASE, PLEASE someone tell me what my options are if any??
Can my mom qualify for someone to come at least x2 a week to help bathe, & care for my mom that will be covered by Medicaid or Medicare??