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I am glad I found this website, and want to know if anyone has ever had this happened to them. I am 28 and my mother is 75 about to be 76. My mother until recently was working full time at a factory that required a lot of her strength. She used to come home tired, and sometimes they made her work Saturdays. One day I went over to her apartment to have lunch there bc I have a key and she was there to my surprise. She told me she got laid off and she finally has that "weight" off her shoulder. Well I was a bit confused about the situation. She was crying a bit because she said she couldn't take this work anymore, and well that made me cry.


I told my mother that my wife and I have an open room that she can come stay with us and she accepted it. She will be moving in October with us and has started to sell a lot of things she doesn't need. My mom is undocumented and cannot receive any kind of government aid, and cannot even retire. We know she has a couple dollars saved in the bank but we also know that having an extra person in the house is going to increase some of our expenses. I don't mind the expenses being up but I just want to know how to deal with my mother back in my house. I love my mom but our house is not that big, and well I just hope we all get along together. My mom is not fluent in English that much, I am not sure how will she communicate with my wife, and I am not sure how will she cope with just being inside for most of the day?


We have researched about a CHEER center in our town, and is only 25 a month which is not bad. I guess instead of getting answer, I just want to know if there are any other only children that have had a situation like this happened to them. My mother said that if she seems that we are struggling financially, she will go back to Ecuador. I will fully support her but I know she won't be able to come back due to her overstaying her visa.


I cannot legally petition her until 2020, and I am not sure if they will ban her from coming back for 10 years in the USA . She will be 86-87 if she goes back. I keep stressing about this. Have any of you guys ever been the only child with a parent that is not legal in the USA? I know my mother says that she has a younger sister that could take care of her, and her nieces and nephews which I am glad, but I am not sure to what extent they will take care of her. I know that I would like to go to Ecuador twice a year if she moves back but financially speaking I am not sure it's going to happen, maybe once a year.

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I have not been in your situation. I only can offer you kindness and some positive thoughts.
You have agreed to have her in your home. You can try it and see if everyone can adjust.
If it doesn’t work you have some options. I think the advice of an immigration attorney now is an excellent thing to do right now.
I can see this might be a problem if your mother has a stroke or gets dementia or needs medical care.
I am also curious about what happens to elderly people in the US that are here illegally that need healthcare?
I am very sad that we in the US are not willing to help people that have been living here and need help.
I hope you find all the answers and support you need.
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anonymous840029 Sep 6, 2018
Thank you for your understanding. I know there are some programs in my state that can cover some medical visits with a low copay but nothing out of the ordinary. My mothers health is fine, she takes high blood pressure medicine because of her age and she also has it.

That is why I am looking if someone has been on this boat. I know that even if she decides to go to Ecuador is going to be hard for me. I know I can facetime her but just not being able to see her face twice a week is going to get to me.

I wish this wouldn't have happened. It really makes me sad and I get stressed about it.
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So since you are not able to apply until 2020, are you a LRA? Also, you are talking about voluntary deportation, has la migra been in contact which would be the 10 year principle. I would contact an immigration attorney in your area.
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anonymous840029 Sep 6, 2018
I am a legal resident, and yes this is voluntarily. My mother has never been to an immigration judge to get a deportation. She wants to leave at her own will. Yes that is a good idea about the attorney since they can let me know about something like this.
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Oh boy. How did she work without a Social Security Card? You are between a rock and a hard place. Hopefully someone is or knows someone in your position.
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anonymous840029 Sep 6, 2018
replying to @joann29. My mother and father came around the late 70s and were here for about 8 years. So they were able to get social securities just with their passport! Which I mean today with technology you wouldn't be able to get them. So that is how she was able to get her SS card and even a license. I know she has paid all these taxes but now I know she won't be able to ask for any AID until I petition her which is until 2020
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