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I am new to this site. I have found many encouraging comments. I too am an only child and to make matters worse I live over 3000 miles away from my 90 yr. old Mom. Once it was apparant that she couldn't live at her home alone (and she wouldn't allow anyone to come in to assist her and I couldn't move her closer to me) I, with the help of her physician had her admitted to a nursing/rehab facility. In order to be able to keep knowledgeable about how she was doing, I hired an elder care manager. She has been a God send. I pay for this service out of my own pocket and I realize not everyone can do this. It doesn't completely take away my sadness and guilt but it helps a little. I call Mom on a regular basis but our communications are filled with, "I hate it here", "everybody is stupid", and "I want to go home". When I finally found this website, I at least felt, I was not alone. Good luck to all you caretakers. I just wish I could be physically closer to my Mom but that is just not going to happen.
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Hospice has been a great help to me. the nurse comes twice a week to check him over, and have arranged for a home health care nurse that bathes him 3 times a week. Hospice is covered by Medicare, so I would definitely explore hospice. It's a great support knowing that you can call them 24 hours a day in case something happens.

My father is not very mobile, so hospice has been a lifesaver for me as a resource.
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jlynnfox, Hospice is a aid for end of life situations and will help at a time such as this. I am not sure how to go about this but I believe you should seek help from them.
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Just clarify to everyone I am an only child. No siblings at all. Just me. klb1, sorry about your mother and it's okay to say it was a relief. My mother is starting to show severe signs of memory loss, she can't even form a complete thought or sentence. sometimes i avoid calling her just so i dont have to feel the pain of her losing it. Of course then i feel guilty that i dont call her more. The doctor gave her another 6 months, 5 3/4 months ago, so i know i am living on borrowed time with her. i dream of the day when all the stress is gone, not her just the stress.
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You are not the only one out there. I am an only child, not married and have just finished taking care of my mother who had ovarian cancer and dementia. She passed away in July, and it pains me to say that it was a relief for me, and I know she is not suffering any more. I am now nursing my father through Kidney failure. I am lucky to have a caregiver who comes in during the day, and some neighbors will "babysit" so I can go to the store on the weekends, and hospice care. I have given into the fact that I will have no life for myself until this is over. I get plenty of E mails from relatives that say they are thinking about me, but when you have somebody who is sick, you find out who your true friends are.

Support group are great, but if you are in my situation, I can't find a babysitter to watch my father to go to one, or they are during the day when I am working. I sure you find that you are better at handling situations and stress better than others around you who have the luxury of supportive siblings. the important thing is to have something that you enjoy doing, such as a craft as an outlet. It won't last forever, so don't stop thnking about wht you will so afterwards.

Chocolate helps too ! :)
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Jen, I'm an only child and I think there is an old thread here with only child in the title.
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Hi Jlynn,
I'm sure there are, but there are many of us who THINK we are only children, because it is very typical for the other siblings not to help. Totally, or not much. You can find other caregivers in your area to get to know through Aging Care. There are support groups in almost every city. Go online and Google that for your specific concern and city. Join us here on different
threads, and feel the love and friendship, and support you could never imagine:) We are all like you. BIg Hugs. christina
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