Mom is 87, can't drive/severe visual deficit [3 cornea transplants]; 4 strokes; mobility problems due to residual stroke damage/left leg weakness and pain; memory [especially short-term memory - but she's not referring to any events prior to her strokes, either. Her son/my brother died in 2012 and she tells anyone anywhere [if i can get her into a store for exercise, but she stops and tells people - even those with young kids with them, that her son died. She gives me icy stares when i ask a question. She wishes i were a] dead, b] can't wait until i am blind d] can't wait till i have a stroke.
i'm disabled from progressive spinal diseases - which is getting worse. But i must got through back/neck surgical procedures, i'm in leg braces and a neck brace, am on 59 doses of meds and must monitor/help mom with her meds and required eye drops. But she screams.... and every day she says she hates me.
It's hard - and treats me as though i caused every problem she has. i get no support from my other sibling - one has regular/daily 'giggle fests' -- and i get chastised by her for encouraging mom to 'use her talents' -- or even empty the diswasher. She can do it, but she downright tells me NO. i want her to stay active instead of working Word Search books all day long. She used to garden - now she moans/groans when i get excited to tell her the tomato is ripe! [i let her pick it].
That hurts -- i'm a business entity, and no longer a daughter. An errand runner [she insists on sitting in the car - no matter how hot or cold it is] In the store, she'll talk to any stranger she passes - but doesn't say a word to me.
i need a reference materials as i can't handle much more - especially the anger, mood swings, outbursts, and her refusal to even have a pleasant conversation or pull weeds together [we've gardened together for over 20 yrs. i'm disabled, and she was my care giver... and i do every thing i can to contribute to the household needs - but now the entire house, the errands, bill paying, RX, laundry, Dr appts for me and her - scheduling it all - is on my plate. Meanwhile, she grouses/throws tantrums at taking maintenance meds that will help her reduce her pain. Short-term memory is [selectively?] shot, though - some is real, some isn't... i don't know why she's doing that to me. i don't know why she hates me - will she always? This is the progression of a caregiver's ultimate role?
Is there a support system .... anywhere? Or did i find the right place to come?