My father is currently receiving in-home hospice care. He has a myriad of problems, the most significant of which is prostate cancer which metastasized into his legs and arms years ago. He also has heart issues, neuropathy, and now pressure sores from being immobile.
He went to the ER about two weeks ago, and spent five days in the hospital. In-home hospice care was suggested, and my mother reluctantly agreed at the time. But she is struggling with letting my Dad go. He is in a tremendous amount of pain, but she will only give him a lower dose of the pain meds that hospice recommends, and not as frequently as they suggest. He is also experiencing a lot of anxiety, but she will not give the prescribed anxiety meds. My Dad is immobile at this point, and difficult to clean. She has made a few phone calls to line up some visiting caregivers and sitters, but not made any decision yet. In the meantime, my brother and I are covering 24/7, spelling each other.
Basically, she still feels like she can make him better. She is trying to force him to eat (even though the hospice nurses suggested against it, saying that it would be even worse for him). Trying to get him to "toughen up" and "get through this." He is lucid at times (probably sleeping 18-20 hours a day though) and is getting angry with her when he is awake.
I can't stand to see him in such pain. Any little movement causes him to wince. The fact that we are not giving him the full amount of pain meds prescribed is weighing on me.
Anyone else been through this type of situation? Is there anything I can do? I've tried talking to her, but she tunes me out, changes the subject, or tells me that I "don't understand him like she does."