I am POA and health proxy for my 91-year-old aunt who is very healthy but has dementia and no short-term memory and no sense of the impact her demands make on me.
I have already had a nervous break down related to this caregiving and my small retirement savings is leaking into paying for her expenses because her Social Security only covers the cost of her independent living residence.
I have two questions:
Since my aunt was living in California when I moved here to Albuquerque, she was a resident but she now has a New Mexico ID because we couldn't do anything without it. Does anyone know if one loses one's state status after a specific amount of time? I've looked online but couldn't find an answer to this. (In order to get anything in NM, you have to have 'Real ID' (Pray that you and your loved ones will never have to go through that process!)
Even though I am now on medication and doing therapy to help with my depression, anxiety and rage, I still lose it and find that I am thinking really violent thoughts about my aunt but instead of striking out at her, I hurt myself instead. Obviously this is not healthy. So I'm wondering if I should go to report myself as a potential elder abuser. This would avoid a potential family disaster and might also finally enable me to free myself from this responsibility.
For the legal issues I know that I can hire an elder care attorney but they are very expensive and I would like to avoid that if possible. I've done a tremendous amount of research online but haven't found the specific information I need. On the off chance that any of you have information or experience in either of these areas I would be so grateful if you could help me.
This site is amazing and I'm sure that it has actually save lives!