My once sharp, intellectually stimulated, fairly active Mom has slowed down to the point where she has no desire to do anything. Any advice?

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Granted, at 92, her attention span has shortened, but I wish she would do more than just sit. She has very little signs of dementia... I end up feeling guilty for not "entertaining" her. She won't even watch TV! I'm going to go to the library and check out huge books with beautiful photos... maybe that'll help. She doesn't even want to do puzzles, or word games or anything. Any advice?

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Some people don't want to live in an unfamiliar place with a lot of other people; no matter how nice it is different than what they are used to and comfortable with. Making new friends may not be easy for them. I sold my house recently because it was too big and remote, even with a friend sharing--and decided that I would be better off moving while I'm still young enough (70's) to adjust to a change. Am living with a daughter who is an "empty nester",both of us are gone during the day (I still work full time) and I enjoy coming home to an almost empty house. One of my DIL's was pushing me toward senior housing and frankly, I'd be more bored and bothered there than on my own. I don't eat a lot but I know what works for me and do it myself. I'm active in my church; most of my friends are younger.
If your folks were readers but have vision problems, perhaps books on tape would work for them.
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Jocelyne, both my parents are bored to tears but it was their choice to continue living in their home in a subdivision, by themselves. They have mobility issues, so getting around is tough on them. Dad will do a little yard work. Mostly they sit in the living room dozing off whenever I stop by. Mom [97] will still do light cooking, laundry, and some cleaning. But they don't have anyone to talk to, except me. All their neighbors are 50 years younger then they are.

Oh how I wished they would have moved to that really grand retirement community just down the road, which they can easily afford. They are missing out on so much. Dad loves to swim and that place has an indoor pool. And all the new friends they would have made.... sad.
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126cher, I think many people have allowed TV to suck the life right out of them. Everyday they see what everyone else does (is it even true!)... and what they can't do. They have both given up. Yeah, how sad to see our parents become like that. That's one thing my mom won't do, is watch TV all day long - but - she won't do anything else either, so she's not much better. If your dad gets tired just from dressing, then maybe he really IS tired, and there's nothing you can do about that. yeah, waiting to die.... Lord God, I pray I will not be like that when my last days come. But we don't always have a say in what our last days will look like. I guess that's why they say we should age gracefully... it's not always a pretty picture!
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Freqflyer, is your dad 93 right now, and that much alive??? Congratulations to him... he sounds like my dad. I have to say I'm surprised at my mom, but... she is tired, and I think a lot of it has to do with pride. She is humbled daily by the fact that she cannot do most of what she used to do. I would think her pride would stir her up to do more, but no, she is just without any motivation. I think she is a very sad person. She has in the past put up great appearances of social stamina, but bottom line, she never has had very many close friends and has always been a bit of a loner. It is sad. I had no idea she was going to be this depressed. But it is not my responsibility to change her at this point, only to make her life as pleasant as I can while she is with me.
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I know when the time comes if this was my Dad (93), he would be more than happy to go into a senior facility where he can be around other people his own age, and tell all his great stories to many new set of ears..... he would be the first one to sit down for Bingo.... and he would probably sign up for all the senior trips. :)
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My parents are both going to turn 90. They both act like they don't care about anything. It is so frustrating!! Spent almost now 3 years to try to help them but nothing. They get out of bed, eat oatmeal for breakfast, watch TV until lunch, watch more TV until dinner. Eat dinner than back to bed. Anything that my husband and I try to do for them does not work. They are angry at me when I try to help. Don't remember how to cook anymore so they go out for lunch & dinner. Dad use to crab, swim, rollerskate etc. etc. Now he is tried from getting dressed. Both go in and out of hospital and re-hab every few monthes. When they come out they are always worse off than when they went in. Good advice from the other posters. Let Go Let God!! Easier said than done--I know.Sorry that we are all in the same boat. Wish we were not. Mom says that she is just waiting to die!! She keeps asking me why they keep old people alive like she and Dad? My heart is broken.
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Mom lives with me.... and I have just had to adjust to her lack of interest in anything. It gets a tad difficult when I wish she would interact more with me and others... but hey, she's 92, and probably just downright tired. I have come to accept it. I am so thankful I can care for her at home for now.... and I pray she never has to go to a home. Thank you for your input, Donald82!
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My wife was a resident of a nursing home for approx 2 years. She had been in and out at 90 to 100n days as just a patient probably 3 times. Her care was at the best marginal..She had dementia and other related ills.Parkinson settled in and that was that beginning of the end.A lot of the moods that affected her,as well as the others was the activities offered and the louzy food that was supplied. All that does not do good for these unfortunate human beings.Most nursing homes or assisted living are great ,but there are a lot that are notThey are just interested in the $10,000-13,000 monthly payments.Sadly all these ailments come with us getting older.Iam 82 Iam experincing some of the ills that others caregivers are dealing with.Just be patient with those you love, because you may be in the same pridicament they are GOS BLESS THEM ALL
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She also has this incapacity to make conversation about others.... I suggested she talk with the young ladies that come to help, because she might have good thoughts or bits of wisdom that could help them in life. She looked at me like, yeah, uh huh...

But, I think she has turned inward and she doesn't care for anything or almost anyone at this point. As far as strangers go. It's not totally true regarding me though, because she'll often thank me profusely for the things I do. She gets very grateful, which I think is so sweet. But she doesn't try to engage in conversation... even when I sit there in front of her during meals. Like, I even have to come up with all the things to talk about. Whew! So, as you say, I do it when I'm able, and that's as far as it goes.
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Sandra.... thank you ever so much. It seems that is all I can do! It's taken me seven months to realize what you have told me. I still get nagging thoughts like I'm not doing Something she needs. Others have told me.... she's choosing to do nothing, it's her choice, just let her be. I did try to get beautiful yet simple puzzles (NOT kiddie puzzles).... but thinks they are just a waste of time. I was thinking I would do them and maybe she would join in, but heck... I'm not even sure if I want to "waste" the time trying to find out if she will eventually participate or not! lol....

So... you are totally right, and when I'm freed from the guilt, I am a better caregiver! I have been able to acquire in home health help daily... and I'm seeing that even with other people there, she does not behave any different. Except she's irked that I'm taking breaks.... you can't win! ha ha

So, thank you again, you are so right and you articulated your thoughts so distinctly and clearly and with compassion. Thank you Sandra...
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