Once reported to Adult Protective Services, what will the inspectors be looking for?

Reading this again made me think of a story my daughter told me when she was training for an LPN. One of her rotations was homecare. Can't remember what the living conditions were but I don't think great. R was to give the client a sponge bath in bed. The woman was so heavy she had rolls. She told R that she couldn't find her remote. R found it in a roll of fat. R swore homecare would never be something she ever did.

I worked for Visiting Nurses. We had a couple living in a trailer that was dirty. The hall was just big enough to get a wheelchair down let alone turn it into a room. The man had dropped the phone many times because it was just within reach. Mr head nurse felt it was a dangerous situation and called APS. They found nothing wrong.

Don't think u have anything to worry about.

If your mom is as advanced with her dementia as you're implying, you might consider trying "The Best Alzheimer's Caregiver Tool of Them All, A Must Have for Every Caregiver."

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A repeating stuffed toy?!? Sounds crazy, I know, but your mom might really take to it. Worth a shot.

Grrrrr! Instead of griping and threatening you can't she do something, like vacuuming or washing a load of clothes.

I am so sorry that your family is being so awful to you. A little help would go so far in this situation.

As long as your mom is safe and cared for they don't care how you live. I would welcome them and ask them to guide you to any/all services for mom and you.

There is assistant that most of us don't even know about, this is the perfect time to ask for a list of resources.

Tell your great niece that she could actually do something to help instead of flapping her gums with threats and criticism.

Hugs for all you do!

PS: my mom is a hoarder, literally paths through things and I was told that they are not there to look at housekeeping. It is about safety and wellbeing. I think it is unsafe but they made it crystal clear that people have the right to live like they want. So don't worry about your home being lived in, they see horrific conditions and know the difference.

I'm sure everything will go well for you lotsokittycats.

Please don't give up on finding some "you" time! Maybe have the cleaning person come every other week, and use that money to hire someone for an hour or two. Check out the local senior center for activities your mom might like, find her a ride or drop her off, and go get your nails done. ;-)

P.S. Is your profile picture of you and your mom? It makes me smile!

They are not looking at NEATNESS but at safety. They will not allow conditions that mean the deteriorating, molding and etc of the house itself, and they will be very touch on unsafe animal conditions, animal or human feces and urine in the house. I mention this because of the code name you use, which may indicate a lot of "kitties". Needing a good straighten-out or a good dusting will count as not a lot, but leaking water, animal mess, stale food, evidence of rodents, unsafe conditions to be negotiated because of stacked boxes or the floor cluttered will be taken very seriously. If these things are few, then the problems will be explained to you in detail and you will almost certainly be given a chance to remedy the situation. Wishing you good luck and hoping you will update us.

In my one experience with APS, I actually found it a very helpful experience. My brother and I were "reported" by our mother's doctor because we didn't start 24/7 care when he thought we should. We went slow to try and ease our mom into it: 4 hrs every other day to 4 hrs every day to 8 hrs every day, etc. My mom also had a lot of friends and neighbors checking on her. Her doctor was actually nice about it; he told us that he was mandated to contact APS and we shouldn't get too worried about it.

Anyway, after talking to our mom and us separately, the APS representative could tell that our mom was happy and was in no way neglected. Most of our meeting was then about safety tips. Medical alert system, handrails, trip hazard, smoke alarms, etc. BTW... Check your smoke alarm batteries before they come. ;-)

If your home is dirty to the point of being a health hazard, they may take notice, but with a cleaning person coming once per week, I can't imagine that is the case. Since you are disabled, they may question you about your ability to care for your mom: Are you physically able to assist her if necessary?

On a separate note: I would also suggest that you need a break once in a while. Caring for someone with moderate to severe AD is a 24/7 job! So... If it's possible, try to bring in someone to help both you and your mom.

Believe me u could be a hoarder and they not do anything. As long as there are no dead animals. And in that instance, any living animals would be removed but Mom would be left because people are allowed to live as they want.

My response to my grand niece would be, you could always come and help. Love people who start trouble but aren't willing to help make things better.

I don't think u have anything to worry about. They have to investigate. I would though, not have any contact with this niece. You can bann her from ur home saying that her abuse is causing you stress which in turn causes u pain.