Once they lose a little more memory, does it ever change for the good?

There will be good days and bad days. The bad days become more frequent. So write in a log- date, time, what happened, how long the confusion persists.
This will help the MD track his progress.

Having a forgetful unfocused husband..I have found jotting down notes for him helps a lot!! And there are medications..that if given early can slow down the progression of dementia....I know that constantly reminding someone can be frustrating and exhausting! Hugs!

I don't know what dose of Aricept your husband is on but it might be worth mentioning it. I am hoping the docs have told you that Aricept only works for a while and that long term it will serve no purpose at which time they will wean him off it. If they start to lose more memory sadly more Aricept will not necessarily offer an improvement, and it will depend on the type of dementia too. In my Mums case it is mixed dementia Vascular Dementia (often abbreviated to VaD on here ) and Alzheimers She was started on Aricept about a year ago and they tell me it may have up to about 3 years validity but her memory would not improve it would just decrease more slowly (according to the doc I spoke to she would be about a year better off than she would be without it)

In my experience Pam is spot on. There will be quite lucid days and there will be days when you think ...say whaaaaaaat? The trouble is it isn't always days it can be minutes later. So while you think everything is fine when you leave the house moments later it might well not be but you cannot tell and you cannot beat yourself up for that sort of thing. All you can do is minimise the issues as you encounter them. In the case of the dogs give them half a meal and then if he does give them a second one it won't be too drastic or don't feed them until you get back

I vent on here a lot when the bad days are present or when Social services are neither helpful, caring or providing a service.... I find it helpful if I can get out the frustration and irritability I find within me. It is absolutely normal to be frustrated, it is absolutely OK to be angry, it is perfectly OK to want to go and scream or be tearful - most of us have been there. Some are brilliant carers (past and present so you will benefit from their vast experience), some not so much - I am a not so much one for I whine and moan but others have it far worse than I, BUT I am here and I do care for my mother. On the good days I try to help others on here who are going through the same thing.

This is a fabulous site and while we might not tell you what you want to hear be assured we mean well - we just don't sugar coat stuff that is really important.

Sometimes making them repeat what you said helps. Ask them what did I just tell you to do. When they repeat it and they hear their own voice it seems to reinforce what you said. May not work in this situation but is worth a try.

It might help to write it on a white board and leave it next to him when you go out..

Does it ever change for the good? There are times where you can get around their resistance. moments after my father refuses to do something I can approach him with a fresh slate and have him doing it. If he cannot remember something I need to know about something important he may remember it moments later by asking the same thing in different words after he has forgotten I asked earlier. I can try a different tact almost immediately.

This site is a God send for me...and all of us...very helpful and encouraging..informative...thank you everyone who posts here!

Hi Tarajean, I imagine things will slowly get more difficult but there will be good days as well. That said the particular incident you mention could be just plain absent minded male syndrome (joking). I feel like I'm talking to the wall many times and memory is not the issue in my hisband's case. That said, I myself have fed the dog twice at times. For that particular issue to keep the puppers from packing on pounds maybe if you feed them then pick up the bowls. If the bowls are on the floor, means the dog hasn't eaten. Just a thought. Also a second dog walk can only be beneficial for both. Try not to panic and maybe over think what could be a normal mix up for any of us.

For me there was significant change for the GOOD; for my mom it was a decrease in memory--at a significant point in the process.

Exactly 15 months ago (she had had problems already for a few years), my mom was furious with me constantly because I hadn't visited "in five days." The truth was that I had been there EVERY DAY. But she didn't remember. This had been going on for about two years and was making me very weary.

Then something happened--her memory slipped just that little bit more that she no longer remembered anything of the recent past at all--not even my imagined absence. This has been wonderful for me. My mom is happy to see me every time I arrive and she doesn't know when she saw me the last time. Am I coming from the ladies room or Louisiana? She doesn't know or seem to care.

This has given her peace of mind and me freedom.

Tarajean, I have cared for both my parents for a long time, but now they are in a home but in different care levels. My Mom is in Alz unit. She was attacked by this disease more than 10 years, but we either didnt recognize it or ignored it. We did not live near them but noticed during phone calls that she only wantef to talk about the weather. Then on a weekend during that time, she drove to her sister's house but got lost. Eventually she got home but was terrified. I took her to the er thinking she may have had a small stroke, but upon a dr visit, it was determined she probably had Alz.
She was on Aricept, after visit to neurologist, and eventually on Namenda also. It was the longest, most devastating time in years watching her decline so slowly. But my advice is...please dont wait. Go to neurologist now. Dont be ashamed to deal with it...it is slow progressing, but start meds now. They help a lot, but please...face the possibility. That's the best you can do for both of you. My heart is with you.

My step mother forgot that she didn't like me when she got deeper into Alzheimer's. This made it a little easier for my father to reach out to me. The step-mother had issues and policies about who she was going to be nice to: anyone in her own family was a God. Anyone in Dad's family was a demon. After Alzhiemer's everyone was a treat to see and she was happy with anyone.

When things got worse she turned violent and had to go into a nursing home. She's passed on. Now my Dad is getting more Dementia of some kind. But heck, he's 97 now.

My wife's memory surely is getting worse. Sometimes, it makes me angry but not for very long. I shouldn't let it I suppose. Like yesterday , I said she should phone her 2 sisters. After about a half hour, I asked her did she call them. She had. I asked her what was the news. She didn't know. Just shrugged her shoulders. Her short-term memory seems to be getting shorter. Neil

First, put the dog food where he cannot locate it. He will forget what you told him and he will forget to let them out unless they can bug him to let them out. Just don't stay gone too long or you might have doggie accidents when you return. There is NO DRUG on the market that will halt dementia. And no, dementia is a progressively worse illness that never gets better and there is no cure (yet). It is a challenging illness, I've been dealing with it for 7 years and each day is a surprise with new symptoms. Hang in there. He is not responsible for his actions now...

I don't want sugar coating I want the help you all are giving me. It helps so much. I get up every morning with my coffee and visit with you all. God Bless you all and Big Hugs

I don't suppose the dog was complaining… But he will be when he's too fat to chase a ball or curl up comfortably! A sign on an index card saying "DOG FED ALREADY" propped up on the tins should do the trick for the time being; but I'm sorry you've noticed this change. It is very hard as you pass the milestones.

Our neurologist explained that everyone's dementia orogresses at a different rate. I have found in my 10 year experience with this that there are times of plateau where everything stays the same for a while. As for increasing the dose of Aricept, the max is 23 mg. My mom was stepped up from 5 to 10 fairly quickly, but not up to 23 for a few years. She dud not experience any side effects from Aricept, but people who do have side effects have them more with the 23 mg dose. Talk to your neurologist. Ask him what the indication for an increased dose would be. Also, exercise (blood to the brain) helps.

This is a trying time for you, I know. You should visit a good neurologist, as others have said here, to get a diagnosis so you can handle what comes next. We found that keeping a notebook log in Dad's kitchen worked for my brother and me, as Dad's drop-in caretakers three times a day; we logged the stuff like meds and meals given, and if he had eaten them. We logged chores done or chores needing to be done. It worked great for us caretakers, but Dad never read it. At home, my brother and I kept separate logs about things Dad said or did that were amusing (now) or worrying. It's amazing to read, especially now that he is gone.

But as to leaving signs or notes for your husband, please be aware that might work for a time, but not forever. Every day, we changed the date on the large whiteboard, which had a note that Mom had died on a specific date....Dad never read those, and if he did, he thought it meant SOME OTHER person, and not his wife. We put signs on the front doors that he should not drive (he would not give up his car keys because there was "nothing wrong with him and he will KNOW when it's time to stop driving!) or leave the house, but he just went out right past them, even moving small chairs we had put in place to slow him down so he WOULD notice and read them. Alzheimers and other dementia patients lose the ability to read as their disease progresses. Dad was almost 92 when he died. His abilities and memories had been declining for about 4 years, but were really bad only the last 17 months. We did trick him into a memory care center the last few months of his life by telling him it was for therapy, both to get him to eat better, and to exercise so he would be stronger and not fall again. Not a lie, but I would never have let him come home. Living at his home was, of course, what he wanted, but eventually he didn't recognize it, and would wander the streets looking for my mother or asking folks how he could get to his home. It was a sad time, but you may not face this...maybe your husband's lapses are just normal, but do be aware of what you might face. We are all here to help each other. Get thee (and him) to a doctor!

The best advice I can give anyone starting down this road is get a note book and leave on the table for them. Learn to write everything down for them. Where you went what you are doing and when you'll be back. Notes for them etc. Keep the book open to the page for the day. They learn from the beginning to go to it and trust it. Peace of mind and reference for them. It may not work later on but helps a lot in beginig. Feeling lost and forgetful for them is childlike and scary!

Things got better with my friends' dementia decline when the wife became incontinent and started to wander and needed 24 hour care. At that point, I was finally able to convince them they needed to move from their condo to a memory care apartment for greater care. I had to have this conversation with the more rational husband 4 times, including the day of the move, because he couldn't remember he had agreed to this and why. Once moved, they never looked back and just accepted the greater help that was being provided, making their lives easier and more pleasant. The wife only lived another 5 1-2 months and the husband is perfectly content to stay there with his 3 meals a day, daily newspaper, and TV. He tells me he has made friends with some of the people he eats with and is very content. I am, too, and check in on the care he is getting to make sure it is happening. It's a happy place and I look forward to my twice weekly visits.

My mother had a stroke 2 yrs ago and lost her short term memory. It seems to have gotten progressively worse sometimes. I remember thinking 2 yrs ago, if she cannot remember in the short term she will have no long term memories it saddened me. I believe, however that on some level deep inside her she holds those memories in her heart.

My husband became suicidal on Aricept several years ago. We took him off and he is his sweet (forgetful) self again.

I doubt increasing Aricept at this point would help. I was told that after a couple of years, Aricept doesn't help anymore. My MIL started out on 5mg, then increased to 10mg. Her primary doctor recently took her off of it and explained that it quits being effective. That was about a month ago and he was right. I haven't noticed any difference since she got off of it.

8 years into this battle. We are having far fewer good days and I have found that I am with him 24/7. I get a break because he likes to sleep in the morning so if I have an errand to run ( I always wake him and tell him I am going) and he goes back to sleep until I get back.
There were days that I thought, he is not sick. But boy the bad days are really hard--so enjoy the good days.
Sending hugs your way for you both. There is a very good book you can get on Amazon--it is called the 36 hour day. You will find it very helpful, I have!
My DH could not take the Aericept---7 days on it and he was like a zombie, so the only thing he is on is Depression meds and supplements.

Just reinforcing what others have said -- both leaving notes and/or white-board messages about where I am and when I'll be back -- and having her repeat what I just said have been useful in keeping my Mom and I on the same track as much as possible. I also post wall signs that point her to her bedroom and bathroom and signs to remember to change her Depends and to remember that everything in that bathroom is hers, etc. She responds very well to notes. Try it!

Are there many patients on Seroquel ? Mine is on Aericept and Seroquel. He is far from being a zombie. Most times he has pretty normal days except for sundowning and that is not as bad as it used to be. In fact he didn't have one last night..

Tarajane - I keep telling myself that it's OK now, but not if it gets any worse. It does get worse, and somehow it's still OK. But the time when it will no longer be "OK" keeps getting closer.
As others have said, if the memory loss takes away anxiety and old anger, that's a blessing. My husband has gotten to be more affectionate, which is nice.
Try to be "interested" in the progression, like a scientist. It's fascinating to see which things go first, and which things last longer. This won't lessen the grief, but it gives you something else to focus on sometimes.

Isn't Seroquel given to control aggression? It's not specific for dementia, but to manage problem behaviors or insomnia, I think. It sounds to me that his meds are doing just what is needed. The memory does go, and nothing (yet) can
change that. Best wishes and hugs to you.

He did have a couple of rages at me, not violent. In the beginning it was over him driving and locking up his guns. He said horrible things and was screaming and my two little dogs ran to my lap and just shook. I called his neurologist on his cell and he prescribed Seroquel right then. Now it is quiet and no more rages. He is 68, mild Dementia. I was really scared.

It can be hard with a spouse because of all the conflicts, big and small, over the years. I still remember that he would never listen to me, and now he expects me to listen to me. That doesn't sound fair! Well, whoever said that life would be fair?

I try to count my blessings, because he is sweeter, and just a tad less stubborn than he was. I have no help except from my daughter. The blessing is that I don't have to fight with family over how I treat him. It's a blessing that I don't actively dislike him. It's a blessing that he sleeps and eats well. It's a blessing that he can still go for walks alone.

Feel free to come here and vent all you want. Most of us have been there and don't judge. There's a lot to learn here, about the disease, bathing and continence, legal and financial issues, dealing with family and more. Do look up Deepa Snow videos to watch. She has figured out a lot about how to make caregiving more effective and less painful.

I think the real answer depends on how you look at it. My personal opinion is "no" their memory will not get good again. it will decline due to the disease, however, there will be times when "intermittent" times he may be clear and coherent of current things, then it will slip off again. it would be like getting on and off a highway at exits. when on the highway he is good, but when bad that means his thinking has taken a turn off the exit ramp. at some point in time, he will get off the exit ramp and never merge back onto the highway. my father I should say is probably more on the off roads than on the normal track, however he does still know us, but to talk current stuff, never happens. good luck.

I suggest you call your doctor and he/she will probably suggest bringing him in for an appointment. With my father, I found it helpful to let the nurse know ahead of time what was occurring. My doctor is also available by email so I would give her a heads up also. In that way, the staff would always find a way to talk with me without Dad hearing my concerns. It helps to allow him to retain some dignity.
Dad is on Aricept and Namenda, highest dose. It helps a lot. Try not to be afraid. Just focus on who your husband really is. If you know the Lord, rely on Him and he will see you through it.