I'm 71 and on SSI disability. I live with my daughter and now she wants me to pay all utilities. What do I do?

Well, I have contacted 211, they can't help. I have called area agency on aging, they can't help. I have called several of the local churches, none of them want to get involved. There is no abuse involved legally.

My FIL has lived with us X 11 years now and he chooses to chip in and pay our cable TV bill, and 500 towards our mortgage, and also towards the groceries, especially those things that he likes and eats in his diabetic diet. Everyone is happy, and feel good about the division of monies, and he is still able to save money, which is important to him. We care for him, drive him wherever he needs to go, and as yet he is still able to get around the house, but I I expect that will change as he is becoming more and more fragile. ? It's been a long time now, and there are days that I became resentful for being "trapped" in this situation for so long, but so many people have it so much worse off, that I'll hang in there until we really can't anymore. My biggest issue is really wanting to go on a real vacation, as it has been awhile. I hope you can find a way to change your situation so8n! Good luck!

I'm sorry to learn that this isn't working out. It sounds as though your daughter didn't think through what it would really be like to start sharing her space with her dad, perhaps? But in any case she's not dealing with it well - so you'll have to.

Act as though living there is no longer an option - you can think of it in terms of the house having vanished in a tornado or something equally final. What would you do then? Look up the various agencies and social services in your area, take their advice and move on. After that, you can try to pursue the money your daughter owes you for her share of the utilities if you want to (or perhaps ask a social worker or someone to do it on your behalf); but to be honest I think you'd probably do better to write it off and hope that you get your relationship back instead.

IMHO I think this is financial elder abuse... if one of the local charities can't help you make a call quick to your local area of aging and explain what she has been doing and that you need help finding a new place that you can afford and they also will help you recoup any monies she may owe you and help you aso to get the utilities out of your name asap before you move!

You have been HAD.. My mother lives with us and pays the electric and TV bill as they went up alot ( she is always cold, and we needed new TV hookups for her rooms). She also pitches in for groceries and gas once in awhile, and the Costco bill as she gets lots of things we normally would not. But we do not expect her to pay half the mortgage.. etc. Those were our bills before she moved in. She pays the "overage" so to say...

Maybe a little studio apartment. Or share a room with another woman your age. My mother never drove either. When my Dad died she would hop on the bus or get a ride with a neighbor in her trailer park. She live a block away from the store, so that was helpful. Good luck and god bless. You don't need to be in this situation.

Cjheck the local coucil on aging (or whatever the equivalent is) and the local housing authority. There should be some sort of low-income housing you will qualify for. The problem may be waiting lists, but it sounds as if you would fall into an emergency status.

Just wondering, since I know almost nothing about SSI - do you have a caseworker? If so, can he or she help you get assistance to move?

The Jewish service organizations also have a strong giving and charitable assistance approach, and it's my understanding that you don't have to be Jewish.

Have you tried Section 8 housing? I believe rent is calculated as a function of your SS income.

One thing you could do is deduct it from the rent you pay her.

Yes call the 211 help line, also call Catholic Charities, or Lutheran Social Services -- don't need to be those religions or any religion they will provide short term help and some churches will even let you live at their church, or one of their members families will be happy to put you up, and no expectations. Long term you are absolutely right, don't live with this daughter ever again! Find a low income housing situation in a city a good distance from daughter. But DO IT. Don't trust this daughter, and I am so sorry you are having so much trouble, and you should not have to bear the immense pain at the hands of your own child. Best wishes for a successful transition

How sad.

Does Daughter drive you around a lot? Who pays for food? If she think you should be paying more than 1/2 the rent and 1/2 the utilities, I suppose you could discuss that, but the way to start the discussion is not to simply refuse to pay her share of the utilities. And she thinks you are cheating her? Sad, sad, sad.

I think you could have a better relationship living apart. Please leave. Call the United Way helpline. Call the Seniors helpline. Do what you have to do, but move out, and remove your name from the utilities.

Believe me, if I should find a way to move, I will and never move back in with my daughter. She will not talk to me face to face. I wouldn't move back to where I lived before because it is a health/death trap. The land owners wouldn't make most any repairs that needed to be made. Thats why I jumped to move out of it.

If I understand correctly, you're living with your daughter but you're attempting to communicate by texting or phone calls? What about face to face communication?

Maggie's right; if the situation is this bad you need leave, go back to the place you were living, and leave your daughter to fend for herself.

Call United Way helpline at 211 and ask how you can get assistance to move out and back to the place where you were living. Call a local tv station to ask for help if you have to. (I assume your daughter helped you move in?)

But remember this incident if your daughter wants you to move back again.

Well, it pains me to read this. Please move back to where you lived before you moved in with her to help her out. Surely there is someone who can help you. On your way out the door, call ALL OF THE UTILITIES and tell them you are moving out and to stop the utilities effective the day you move.

You had to put the utilities in your name because she doesn't pay her bills. To them. Nor to you. Be glad your name isn't on the lease.