I'm 71 and on SSI disability. I live with my daughter and now she wants me to pay all utilities. What do I do? - AgingCare.com

I'm 71 and on SSI disability. I live with my daughter and now she wants me to pay all utilities. What do I do?

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My daughter asked me to move in with her and split rent and utilities. After three months, she is mad at me because I asked for her half of the utilities money. The utilities are in my name because she has had problems paying bills and can not get utilities in her name. She is hateful to me and will not talk to me. She will not answer text massages or phone calls. She thinks I'm cheating her on the utilities. I show her the bills on paper and it doesn't make any difference. I don't know what she expects. I am not in the best of health. I do not own a car or drive. She works and makes over twice of what mt SSI is. She won't do any thing for me or help me in any way. I would move in some place by myself but I do not have a way or money to move. I wish there was someplace or someone that would help me.

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Well, I have contacted 211, they can't help. I have called area agency on aging, they can't help. I have called several of the local churches, none of them want to get involved. There is no abuse involved legally.
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My FIL has lived with us X 11 years now and he chooses to chip in and pay our cable TV bill, and 500 towards our mortgage, and also towards the groceries, especially those things that he likes and eats in his diabetic diet. Everyone is happy, and feel good about the division of monies, and he is still able to save money, which is important to him. We care for him, drive him wherever he needs to go, and as yet he is still able to get around the house, but I I expect that will change as he is becoming more and more fragile. ? It's been a long time now, and there are days that I became resentful for being "trapped" in this situation for so long, but so many people have it so much worse off, that I'll hang in there until we really can't anymore. My biggest issue is really wanting to go on a real vacation, as it has been awhile. I hope you can find a way to change your situation so8n! Good luck!
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I'm sorry to learn that this isn't working out. It sounds as though your daughter didn't think through what it would really be like to start sharing her space with her dad, perhaps? But in any case she's not dealing with it well - so you'll have to.

Act as though living there is no longer an option - you can think of it in terms of the house having vanished in a tornado or something equally final. What would you do then? Look up the various agencies and social services in your area, take their advice and move on. After that, you can try to pursue the money your daughter owes you for her share of the utilities if you want to (or perhaps ask a social worker or someone to do it on your behalf); but to be honest I think you'd probably do better to write it off and hope that you get your relationship back instead.
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IMHO I think this is financial elder abuse... if one of the local charities can't help you make a call quick to your local area of aging and explain what she has been doing and that you need help finding a new place that you can afford and they also will help you recoup any monies she may owe you and help you aso to get the utilities out of your name asap before you move!
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You have been HAD.. My mother lives with us and pays the electric and TV bill as they went up alot ( she is always cold, and we needed new TV hookups for her rooms). She also pitches in for groceries and gas once in awhile, and the Costco bill as she gets lots of things we normally would not. But we do not expect her to pay half the mortgage.. etc. Those were our bills before she moved in. She pays the "overage" so to say...
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Maybe a little studio apartment. Or share a room with another woman your age. My mother never drove either. When my Dad died she would hop on the bus or get a ride with a neighbor in her trailer park. She live a block away from the store, so that was helpful. Good luck and god bless. You don't need to be in this situation.
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Cjheck the local coucil on aging (or whatever the equivalent is) and the local housing authority. There should be some sort of low-income housing you will qualify for. The problem may be waiting lists, but it sounds as if you would fall into an emergency status.
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Just wondering, since I know almost nothing about SSI - do you have a caseworker? If so, can he or she help you get assistance to move?
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The Jewish service organizations also have a strong giving and charitable assistance approach, and it's my understanding that you don't have to be Jewish.

Have you tried Section 8 housing? I believe rent is calculated as a function of your SS income.
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One thing you could do is deduct it from the rent you pay her.
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