My medical details, vitamins I'm deficient on, how much I make an hour etc, when I'm on my period, my cramps, what I study in school, if I leave my part time jobs, EVERYTHING
She even called up the guy who fired me while I was in the hospital and apologized to him (even though he screwed me over)
She gives money and talks to people who were trying to turn my dad against me in his final days (he had money and they wanted me out of the picture)
I have moved everything I own into my room and told her my next step will be to move out if this continues. That was 1 and 1/2 years ago.
I have given up my entire life to take her to drs appointments. She refuses anyone else to help. So now I'm 36 with no job experience.
I can't tell you how many mornings I've woken up, walked to the living room only to hear her talking is about me on the phone.
Yes I've talked to her about it repeated. Even had over 4 interventions (people came to our house including neighbours, her friends, church leaders) and we are always back to square on.
The problem is she sees no problem in any of this bc "everyone talks about their kids" and I'm "being too sensitive" and I'm "imagining things" and the "devil is turning you against your mother"
All I want to do is move out. I'll come you during the day but at least if sleep elsewhere I won't have to wake up her talking about me in the morning.
This has been taking a toll on me, I'm on 2 antideppressants
Don't tell her anything. You may want to look up the "gray rock method". You need to find out what services and resources are available to Mom. Call ur County Office of Aging and ask about Senior bussing and see what other resources they have. Then you go looking for a job. In my area we have Amazon Whses, Target and others paying a decent wage. You don't need too much experience. Maybe u can find someone renting an apt over a garage, in their cellar. A room. This is effecting your mental health and you need to get away. Only you can do this.
That you are still living with your Mom and have not had a job at age 36 indicates there may be issues best addressed by a licensed professional. You deserve a life and friends/family of your own.
It is scary and difficult to make these changes, and often we stay in the habitual ways we have developed not so much because they make us happy, but because they represent the "known", and exploring the unknown can be very terrifying.
Do know that your Mom will be fine, and in fact will be forced to develop interests of her own outside what her daughter is doing every minute of the day.
It sounds as though you two have become enmeshed simply by habit.
It will be difficult to change that after all this time. So get a professional to help, and know I wish you the best.
Probably bored. Nothing & noone else to talk about.
Or she thinks everything in your life is basically HER life too. When you get that Mother/Daughter super close enmeshed relationship this can happen.
Mom will keep saying & doing what she wants as there is zero reason for her to change. She has a live-in maid/daughter doing all for her, her way. Why change?
It works for her. She will stay fully dependant on you. Unless you make changes.
You will stay dependant on her for work (paid or unpaid) & housing. Unless you make changes.
***Unless you make changes***
So what are the top reasons stopping you? My 1st guess is;
"She refuses anyone else to help".
OK, so she SAYS that. They all do... Take it as a compliment - that she trusts you best.
This is her preference, her WISH. Does it mean you must OBEY her every wish?
Right now is the best time in history to get a job. Every place I go has now hiring signs up and you only have to have a pulse to get hired.
So go and get your life on track and let mom figure out how to get her needs met.
If you just keep complaining and never acting on your threats to leave, she has no reason to believe you. It's like telling a kid, I'm not telling you again, thirty times. When are you serious?
In SC where I live there are plenty of jobs but Covid has greatly increased the cost of living. I see signs in front of stores posting wages but I doubt it will cover a rental. If one moves further away where prices are less the problem is now the high cost of gas.
I do hope the OP can free herself. She is young which might also mean her mother might live for many years. This sounds like a terrible life with such a toxic personality.