Last year my mother moved in with me, my boyfriend of 7 years, and our roommate. She is disabled and receives Social Security/Disability and has Medicare/Medicaid. After a decline in her health she was given 90 hours for in home health care and chose a worker. Against my advice she chose our roommate who works in a hospice/rehab facility on the night shift.

Due to his work schedule he has to sleep during the day so their waking hours rarely overlap. As far as I can understand it (my mother has memory issues and can't seem to recall the details or their arrangement) they have an "on call" agreement set up to where when he is home he is considered on call so when she needs something she sends him a text and he does it. However I never see him doing very much for her.

I'm home most days all day. When I'm awake he is typically sleeping although sometimes there is overlap in the morning. All I ever see him doing for her is taking out her trash and cleaning her commode at night before he leaves for his other job (10 minutes max) and taking her to the store maybe twice a month. He does her laundry once a week and has helped her clean her room a few times as well and gone by himself to get medicine from the pharmacy once or twice. I've been told he's cooked her breakfast a time or two as well.

My concern is that he is basically being paid for spot work and to sleep. My mother was really sick last week and there was a day where I was downstairs in my office most of the day so I didn't see her at all. When I went upstairs to make dinner the whole floor smelled like human waste because she had used her commode the night before and he hadn't been up to clean it that evening because he was sleeping. She told me she had sent him a text message to clean her commode but because he was sleeping he hadn't responded. If he's on call while at home shouldn't he be responding promptly? It was after midnight before he woke up to clean it.
He has also overslept and not made it to the pharmacy on time so she has had to go without her pain medication. We live in Oregon and I tried finding information online but had no luck. I'm concerned about the help she is receiving. Due to medical conditions of my own I'm disabled and can't drive so there are things I can't do for her to pick up his slack.

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