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I moved and left my family in another state to care for her. I have taken over her medications, getting her to doctors, helping her clean up, cook, basically everything she did for me when I was born. She has been in the hospital many times and has come close to death several times, I have been through it all. It is the hardest thing I've ever done but at the same time the most rewarding as I would have never known the Mom I know now had we not had this time together. One month ago she was sent to a nursing home for two weeks for Rehab for her knee that has been a problem with her for over 15 years, we've done all we can but there isn't anything to be done to get her better. Now it has been one month and they will not let her come home. She is able to walk with her walker the same as she did before her last hospital stay. She is still of sound mind, still full of life at 78. First they told her she couldn't go home until she knew every medication she takes, what it looks like and when to take it. I have been doing that job for over a year, she takes over 30 pills a day, I over see that, she doesn't...not that she can't, I just took it over. She is crying that she will never be able to go home with that as her test. Today they told her she can't leave now because of her medical problem, which are many, but none are new since she was admitted there. They are telling us if we take her out against their orders she would have to pay for her full month stay and all the medications she has taken since there. That she can not afford. She is now starting to give up. We want our Mother home. What are our options. We feel she is well enough to come home, they won't even come do a home check, which has been done after every hospital stay when home health comes to the house. We are very frustrated and angry, we took her out of the first nursing home as they did not give her her medication on time, we thought this one was much better, now we just feel like we are being lied to, every week we've had a meeting, every week they throw something else at us. Any suggestions we can do?

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Is she a Ward of the State? It's pretty unusual for the Social Worker and Discharge Planner to say she cannot leave. If they have full custody or Guardianship, you could only challenge them in court. Is there someone with a POA or DPOA? How many times has she been hospitalized in the last year?
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What are her other medical problems? Has something happened that woukd cause the staff to be concerned about her safety? Call the Ombudsman, part of the Agency on Aging within the Council of Goverments. Have you checked Medicare's website for ratings of the nursing home? Have there been any issues with this facility?
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What about a Community Waiver program? And what business do they have insisting Mom has to do it on her own if you would be there with her anyways? Something does not add up. Unless this place is unethical as hell and just wants to keep people they can make a profit from...in which case, enlist the help of the state attorney general's office.
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Cloudwalker, could you give us more information regarding your Mother's health issues... your profile says mobility, but there has to be more going on being your mother has been in the hospital many times and close to death.
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Thank you for your responses, I am waiting for her case worker to return my call at this time. Her health problems are Congestive Heart Failure, A-Fib, Crohn's and arthritis and COPD. She has 16 heart stints, as I said she is a fighter. The problem with all this is she is having terrible problems with her knee, making it painful when she uses her walker, she has had surgery on it, has shots every 3 months. In 96', she had a back surgery and there were mistakes made and they cut several nerves and that has been a problem with her knee and legs ever since, but she has always been able to walk.The first week of her Rehab they were working with her just to use a wheel chair, which she only uses when we have to go out, around home she uses her walker very well. She is allergic to most pain medication and has pretty much lived with pain for many years. She has went through a lot and has always battled to come home. She is a very tough woman and does not have mental issues and although she has my other sister as her POA, she makes her decisions. I am hoping her case worker can explain all this better for us. We've had her in Rehab before, but never in a nursing facility.
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