Can my older sister force me to care for our elder Mom? - AgingCare.com

Can my older sister force me to care for our elder Mom?

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My mom is being released from hospital and they are telling me I have to care for her since I live with her.

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Your 'on line' name sounds like you are a son? I certainly think you must get yourself off to the hospital and talk to the discharge planner as 'pamslegman' says above....AND the social worker and perhaps nursing staff about what your mom's needs would be at home. I do not think they would expect/order/ or otherwise 'make' a son take total care of his mother. As another poster said, there may be things you CAN do to help, but if you have an older sister and/or other siblings, then everyone should take part. Also, a social worker or discharge planner can help you all figure out if there are finances of your mothers that will help pay for some in home care if your mom will need that...or help start the process of applying for Medicaid and other assistance. Bottom line, if you were living in Mom's house, and you are over 21, of course you are free to find another place to live, another 'roommate' and not stay there. If your mom was living with you, then you need to get help lined up. But no one can 'force' you to take it all on, unless you permit it to happen. It would help us advise if we had more information...like her diagnosis, and whose home is it and what other help/siblings etc do you have. You have choices here, but you need to go get your answers BEFORE she returns to your home. As 'ismiami' said, once you and she are in the same home together, you could be charged with neglect for walking out on her without making proper arrangements for her care. So you better get on down to that hospital!
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You need to talk to the discharge planner, to discuss what her care will entail. If you can't do it, don't let anyone misinform the discharge planner that you are able to do it. You cannot be forced to take on the care.
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From your profle, you state you are caring for your mother. So I am confused about your question about having to care for your mother when she comes home from the hospital.
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If mom is being released to her home, somebody has to be ready, willing and able to care for her. I have no doubt this is more than a signle person job, but since you live with mom, you likely need to be part of the solution, if you are physically able. If you are not physically able, there may still be activities like ordering meds and keeping up with appointments that you can perform.

Do you live with mom or does mom live with you?
Who paid or pays the mortgage and utilities?
If you cohabitate with someone, just by proximity you take on some responibilities. If this person is unable to take care of herself and you do not help for example allow to go hungry or soiled, you may be guilty of neglect or abuse.

Mom must have a willing caregiver at home.
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