This has interfered with our plans and we argue all the time. My husband tells me it is none of my business. Why doesn’t he see the emotional duress this is causing in our marriage. I have thought about telling them to stop but my spouse said he would tell them to ignore me. I am thinking about leaving. He won’t see counselor because he thinks what they are doing is fine. Help!
They may be genuinely surprised and distressed, and stop or at least cut back. Or they may not care, and keep it up. But definitely let them know. If nothing changes, then you can decide about whether to leave.
I have a friend who I think relies way too much on a neighboring family. They are very nice and always jump in for her. But if they were to tell her they need to cut back, she would. It's worth a try.
IMO, we got too involved with a friend's family. It started out with driving the Mom once a month to an apot, to driving the daughter to appt, to driving the granddaughter to appts. When it looked like granddaughter #2 may be added, I said No. Out of 4 wks we were driving someone to appts 3x a week. Yes, we were retired but this was not what I wanted to do all the time. My husband, we have time. No, we did not give up our plans. DH is a golfer, no appts the day he golfed.
You can always give him an ultimatum of either you and your marriage or this older couple, but don't be shocked when he opts to take this couple over you.
Might be time to call a divorce lawyer.