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My 87 year old wife, suffering for a little over one year with dementia, refuses to use any sort of incontinent panties. She depends on Poise Pads. Prior to the onset of the dementia she was hoarding all sorts of things, that I was not aware of. Among the items she was hoarding were tons of those pads. I have no idea of how many she uses per day, but I have to empty the small trash container I placed in her bathroom for the sole purpose of the pads, three times a week. My question is: what is the best size/absorbency/comfortable pad to use, with what I consider heavy flow. Checking the stock, which is getting low, I noticed that they all have a chart of sorts on the package. All of those I've seen are labeled with a one or two level. When checking where to buy them, I find that this product offers different levels and, I think different sizes, up to a six. How should I evaluate which to buy? Discussing this with my wife would not get an answer, other than that I should just forget it.

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What one person classifies as moderate will be more or less than what someone else thinks so it's difficult to give advice based on that. And it depends on the type of incontinence - leaking constantly? can't quite make it to the toilet in time? sudden gush when she laughs, coughs, sneezes, stumbles? Are the ones she is using effective or are you experiencing damp furniture and odours from leaks? If what she has is effective then I'd just get more of those, or perhaps one level up.

You can get some good advice if you visit the websites of Tena and Poise, and both companies offer samples

https://www.tena.us/caregiver/caregiver-advice/levels-of-care

https://www.poise.com/en-us/products/absorbency-guide
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Thank you for that suggestion. Might try those prior to buying a lot of trial products. She does sleep a lot - up half the night, then naps on and off all day, after getting out of bed between 0900-1300.
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As an afterthought - I will also say - they also make real incontinence underwear - not the diaper-like Depends/Attends that everyone is used to - but real underwear that is washable that will hold urine. They are NOT cheap though - but they are washable which means that you can save over the life of the product. There are several makers out there Knix, Speax (made by Thinx), Jockey, Wearever - I am not sure this is even an option but wanted to throw this out there.

Also Tena makes a more ¨stylish¨ version of the Depends type.
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Fred3202 Feb 2023
I have tried the pull ups, that's how I learned she won't use them. They were from a company called "Because" I think. she used one or two, then threw the rest away. Thanks for the reply.
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Maybe try depends , and place the poise pad she is use to inside it… then as she gets comfortable with that remove the poise pad ??
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So honestly the kind that pull up would probably be best to prevent leaks - but since you have already mentioned that she refuses to wear those - you probably have a few options. And you may want to check to see if Medicare will cover the cost or send you some (though I will caution I think Medicare uses a specific brand Attends - at least that is what they sent my FIL and he hated them and only wanted Depends- so if she is brand picky and they do not offer Poise - that may not work).

Did you notice if the ones that she is currently using have little things that wrap around the underside of her underwear (wings) or just sit in the bottom? They make both kinds and that will help you select the right product further. They do make thin products that absorb more but if you are going for the most absorbent, the original line has a lot of options - so I can imagine it would be confusing. To make things harder - I am guessing retail stores probably do not carry all varieties in store but you can order them online.

You say all of her packages are all labeled as a one or two level - which is not very high - it is just a liner which is meant to just catch little leaks so if the ones that she is wearing now are just level 1 or 2 and you need a little more - you are probably safe going to a level 3. But if you think you need more than that - take a look at the website and see what you think might work for her based on what you are seeing.

Here is the link to the Original product line - https://www.poise.com/en-us/products/incontinence-pads/original

That is probably the most obvious option and then ¨ultimate absorbency¨ in either the long or the regular length is going to be the most absorbent in that product. Think like a diaper for maybe one accident I am thinking and then it would need to be changed.

They also offer overnight products.

If the ones she is using have the little wrap arounds and are really thin - that is more like this product line - https://www.poise.com/en-us/products/incontinence-pads/ultra-thin

That line I think only goes up to ¨maximum" absorbency.


What does all of that mean? https://www.poise.com/en-us/products/absorbency-guide If she is going a lot at one time - you are going to need the highest absorbency. But even still I would think that they are only good for one major accident before needing to be changed. If she is just starting and then going to the bathroom - the lower levels are fine. If she is full on using them to urinate completely the higher levels are going to be what you need.

Hope that helps. Hugs!
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Fred3202 Feb 2023
Thank you, a lot of information here, I'll check it out. I was already looking at buying online, that's where I learned of the different levels available.
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Fred, welcome! And (((hugs))) for being a great husband.

I would suggest Overnight pads:
https://www.poise.com/en-us/products/incontinence-pads/original/ultimate-overnight-absorbency
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