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I've seen the romantic lack of realism in my step-dad in a wheel chair trying to live at home and take care of my mother at home along with now wanting her back home from the nursing home as if he can take care of her?

I've seen it and my dad who is 84 has said it, "Old people just cannot take care of Old people."

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Because they don't want to accept the reality that they can no longer care for the person they love. It seems impractical and often is, but many will try, right up until the death of one spouse. This takes careful, sympathetic handling.
Carol
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