What should we do about a man (90) seeing 2 younger women and giving his money away?

Fulfill your promise to mom by immediately seeking Guardianship. Once you have that, YOU can press charges or get an order of protection.

You said he seems to be in his right mind I think you might need to rethink that. If he were in his right mind would he be with these kind of women? You need to have his assessed by a Doctor for dementia. Seek guardianship and stop these people from abusing your father. Even if he doesn't have dementia he is not making wise choices for himself you need to step in before you find your father in a ditch somewhere.

Leakey its not about cutting the mustard or enjoying sex and companionship these women are known by the police and are taking his money and bringing him home with injuries. He may or may not have dementia but he is making poor choices for himself with safety in mind.

Your poor dad! Does he have a regular doctor, or does he see a geriatrics doc? It sounds to me as though it's time to have him evaluated by someone who specializes in the elderly. I would get information to the doctor before the appointment about dad's recent behavior and the danger that it presents.

As Dad is no longer driving certainly don't take him anywhere dangerous. If either of the women turns up call the police immediately. He may yell and scream at you but you made a promise to Mom so keep it. If his money has gone by the middle of the month do not help him out. If he really is in his right mind he may have learned his lesson this time. I can understand his wish not to be made to mix wwith others his own age, it can be very depressing. Does he have any hooies he can persue on his own or maybe join a club or class with mixed age groups.

Was your dad upset about being assualted? These people should be held accountable for elder abuse. There must be some kind of dementia if he tolerated the abuse and still wants to see these women. He needs out of the situation before they become more abusive. Power of attorney would be best.
Good luck, this has to be hard for you and your sister. Be sure to take time for you.

Hippocampal sparing Alzheimer's is harder to detect.... Poor judgment and inappropriate behavior are clues.... Your dad might have the mentality of a 14-year-old, and to some might appear competent. But would we want a 14-year-old on their own? Your dad needs help. Good luck.

First, given your Dad's behavior, it's pretty clear that he has some degree of dementia. It is possible to seem very "with it" in some, or even most, areas, and still be greatly affected in others. Not that you have to go hunting for a definitive diagnosis, but you should approach things with dementia in mind.

Obviously, I'm only guessing based upon what you've shared, but I have a hunch Dad is just attracted to the attention and diversion these women provide. Being old is boring.

I'd try to get him involved in a day program for seniors. If he hits it off with anyone there, he may be willing to go a few (or hopefully more) days a week. If there is no good program near you, try to find some other social outlet for him. Apparently, the attention of women is appealing to him even if it's accompanied by abuse. Fortunately, at most senior centers, men are in short supply. That can lead to lots of attention.

Ideally, if he had the funds, I'd move him into an independent senior living apartment. There'd be plenty of activity to keep him going and he'd be sure to find friends to share meals with and just "shoot the breeze" with.

My heart goes out to you because I know how difficult this is. When my Dad was in his 80s he started giving money to young women. It was anything from wiring hundreds of dollars at a time to someone in another country to paying for the repairs on the car of a woman who bagged his groceries. It made him feel good to think he was helping people. I fussed with him about it a bit, but like you allowed this to go on because he had sufficient money to take care of himself. However, there was a point it went too far.

There are resources who can help you. In each State, there are elder advocates. When a person we had hired to be a companion to Dad was having him pay for things that were not appropriate (e.g. clothes and manicure /pedicures), I took him to meet with an advocate. She told him that her responsibility was to him, not to me or anyone else. That was good because she made it clear she was not there to support what I wanted. She then told him an example of someone who had signed away his vehicle to a young woman who he thought cared for him.

My sister and I then met with the caregiver at a public location and requested that she stay away from Dad. He was very angry with me and told me I was trying to ruin his life. It was horrible because we were close and I wanted him to be happy. The now former caregiver then contacted him secretly and since he was living alone we were unaware of what was happening. We learned that she was back in the picture when we hired someone to live with him to help around the house and with cooking, and to be a companion and go do fun activities. He fired her and threw her out of the house because the former caregiver had been staying there some of the time. What was most insidious about the situation is the former caregiver was clearly coaching him to hide what was happening. If there was one thing that put me into super protective mode it was to try to get between me and my Dad. In the end, we did what you have done and removed him from the situation where this person could get easy access.

Because of this, I would encourage you to keep your Dad living with your sister. He can be active and get out and do things, and if he gives his money away, he'll still be safe and cared for. If he is living in independent or assisted living, you have no idea where he goes or with whom. At the same time, I would try to find activities that he can do on his own so he has some autonomy. Once in his 90s, Dad enjoyed going on weekly excursions with a local group that plans activities for people with disabilities. They qualified him because he was "unsteady" on his feet. Though most were older, they did things like going canoeing, to the rodeo, to the movies, and camping. It was not just playing bingo. He made friends and enjoyed himself.

I hope something in all of that is helpful.

You a re underestimating him don't forget older people still enjoy companionship and yes sex (don't blame his actions on dimenthia) and quit treating him like he is to old to cut the mustard