Is it okay to hate your family?

AARP has a good forum, but not as good as this one.

I don't hate them. Hate is such a harsh word. I consider them toxic and stay away and ignore someone that I might hate. I have my health to consider so I don't hate. I try to forgive.

i loved "bad daughter"'s response! made me laugh. Thanks for that. Sure I hate some in my family at times...don't we all? It's an emotion, not a well-thoughtout thought. Don't get too hung up on it. It will pass...eventually!

Thanks again , merry Christmas

Chrissie, Go to a different forum for different help, but please also stay here. I don't have a drinking problem, but I self-medicate in more invisible ways. You are not in a separate "addict" category. You are also in the "caregiver struggling to do her best and still survive" category, so you also belong here.

0h ((((((chrissie))))))) Glad your mum's texts were good. Yes, if you are self medicating, you are on a downward spiral. Honesty is the best policy. There is help available in AA which is free and I am sure there are forums dealing with addictions. Debt is another stressor. I encourage you to seek help in those areas. Being bipolar is tough as are addictions but help is available. Do this for you. You are worth it - Chrissie (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Mums texts where good

I desperately want the retreat as it detoxes and sources your problems , I feel it would be essential for my survival , hubby hates using the credit card.

I know in my heart I am on a downhill spiral

Dear emjo,
Well I am feeling better ?
I don't know for how long , we would have to put on the credit card and hubby is freaking out.
Funny thing , I guess I should be on a ". sneaky" forum as I really need help but don't want to burden anyone . I am siting here drinking a bottle of red wine and have a stressfull. Day tomorrow . It is easy to pretend you are ok ....I am to some degree , to tell the truth I also have a drinking problem ........shoot me ....I have started to realise honesty is the best thing .i guess it is self medication . I don't want to go I to a long history , my biological parents where alcohols and depressed and bipolar .... Not raised by them . I guess I should be on a different forum.
I look and act normal , well groomed , run two businesses and seem totally together . Inside I am desperate for help . Thanks everyone for help , Aussie chrissie

chrissie - happy for you that you are going for a health retreat. I would join you if it wasn't the other side of the world. You are doing the right thing which is looking after you. Also doing the right thing not reading your mum's texts. I am sorry your husband doesn't understand. Some time away for you is what you need. Hope you have a great time and come back feeling better and more detached from the whole situation. By then your therapist should be feeling better so you will have that resource nearer to home. Enjoy!

CM, gotta laugh, keeps us sane, so might as well find the humor. So many of us deal with self-centered, unrealistic siblings, sometimes I do laugh because now nothing they do surprises me, whatsoever. BRING IT ON!

Mum has got it out of me why I have been so upset .
And I can't even read her texts as she makes me want to dig a bigger hole to escape .

My husband can't listen anymore, apparently I go about everything the wrong way and my therapist has been sick. ! What is he thinking ! , he is supposed to be helping me , hahaa

So I am going to go and get some real help . Looking forward to it.

Glad - I don't know why I'm laughing...

Yep. It's okay to hate your family. If you want a relationship with them, then you can hate their actions and should be able to tell them openly what's bothered you and work together to get beyond it by listen ending to each other's perspective when this is all said and done.

If you hate them, or there is no reconciliation, then be mad, grieve it, and let it go. Do not hold on to the grievances. We don't have to love our family because it's blood, we do have to love ourselves and come to terms with our own feelings and actions.

I found the perfect birthday card for those siblings that do not believe what you are doing is work.

I will always be you sister

open card

So you will have to wish for something else when you blow out your candles!

Hi country mouse
Might have a shrimp the barbie,????

I have decided to go to a health retreat for two weeks, my bipolar is crazy and I am at melting point .last thing we can afford .i feel it is the only way to survive at the moment

Seems Obama and I got it messed up, it is Madiba not Mandiba, my bad.

I'm so sorry, what can I say? - I didn't recognise the accent??? Good on ya x

Not sure why you say , 'why australia ? that's where I live and was born .
Fair dinkum Aussie

Chrissie, why Australia? Interesting: my ex-husband's sister emigrated there. I'm sure it was just a coincidence that it's 11,000 miles away from her mother...

I wonder about that too, Glad. Then I think "eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves." Might do 'em some good to hear the home truths!

I just felt this was mainly American . It seems these problems are global

Chrissie, I am in Colorado. Why do you ask? Maybe paranoid? I sure am; sometimes afraid siblings may be reading my posts.

Now my mother wants to know why I am so upset , told her I thought the other home was better.
Well what a mistake that was . She said I am upset that I diddnt get my own way.

Ok !!!! Really .....I was thinking of dad actually

Is it okay to hate your family? If they've got it coming, sure.

Hummmm speaking of family one of my dads sisters called me tonight haven't heard from he in maybe 50 years. She was upset saying my dad was saying she stole all his money and wanted me to know she would never do this. I knew she hadn't I can see into my parents bank account. I told her not to worry I know she didn't dad's really sick he doesn't know what he's saying. She said she even called the director of the nursing home had him put my father on speaking where he ripped her again. Oh yes I did feel a bit smug in hearing it all gee wez family now do you get it! Now that it's them being accused it's a different story. The sister also told me what happened that day with the attorney neither sister is to be DPOA my father was in ICU he denied everyone. Yet today the director of the nursing home showed my father a signature my father said is not his where both sisters are to be their DPOA. I ask was this before or after my father woke up and ask if he was running for office that morning. I contacted the Supreme Court in Virginia again through internet and in person! I can't wait to hear how this sleazy arrogant try's get out of this one.

Jennifer's , me too
I can picture getting up at dads funeral and asking them would they like to live in a cage for there last few years , or in a beautiful home with more staff , more activities and some dignity .

I think it is mums insecurity holding it all back and my brothers are puppets in this .

Gladimhere.

Feeling a lot better , apparently if you tell a doctor you want to kill your brothers they take it seriously !!!!

So overnight in a pysc ward .i kept telling them I was ok , just having a meltdown.

Luckily the physicist fist realised me .

Resting today , can you all tell me which country you are just for curious purposes . I am in australia

Ok , sure bad daughter
Just remember hating someone is like drinking poison , you are the only one you are damaging.
I will help you for an hour

Yes, it is okay to hate them! I hate them, too! In exchange, could you hate my brother? Just for an hour or so, if it's not too much trouble. Please put a lot of energy into it so I can take a break from all the effort it put into hating him.