Okay this might be a difficult one. My mom is on meth at 83. She’s kicked this guy out, he's 45 but he keeps returning. Any advice?


He keeps returning to give her drugs. He’s trying to financially exploit her and have her sign over her house. She has been robbed before by his friends. She has me remove him and he comes back and gets her high and then stays and takes over and changes the locks and disables her phone. This happens about every two weeks after I go in and get mom straight and clean up after him. She then wants him back after she is under the influence. He’s going to kill her.

I’ve contacted APS many times to find out they do not want to do anything. I have also got an attorney in the past but afraid I will make mom mad and she will just leave everything to him. He talks against me to her so she does not trust me and won’t get in a car with me. She does live in fear she will get robbed again but blames everyone but him. She can’t do her banking anymore she has either me or him do it. But when I’m out of the picture and she wants him back she changes her bank cards. She has done this over seven times this month.

Without writing a book I’m looking for support on what to do. I've tried everything to get my mom out of this but she is in very big denial that he could do anything to hurt her. I feel otherwise and fear she will lose everything she owns and won’t have money to take care of herself for the rest of the years she has left. I tell people my story and they don’t believe me. I have doctors and hospital records proving she has these drugs in her system. She goes crazy thinking people are living under her house and climbing through walls to get at her things. She spends most of her time locked in her bedroom with all of her possessions. I need help.

Find Care & Housing


There is something called the Bakers act check it out. Go to the police and report the drug dealer. Tell them you want a report on record. Next time Mom is in the hospital, ask for a psyic evaluation. She can be kept, I think, for 72 hours. She needs to be dried out and then evaluated for Dementia. If she is found incompetent to handle her own life then go for guardianship. You can use Moms money to obtain it. Once u have guardianship you can have her placed in a NH. The safest place for her. Then you can sell her house for her care and close or change her accounts. You will also be able to keep him away from her by putting him on a list of people who are not allowed to visit.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JoAnn29

Sadly, your Mom is an addict, and is going to have to meet Her rock bottom and reach out for help, otherwise she is going to continue to do this repetitive and destructive pattern over and over again.

You need to go to some Nar-Anon meetings, to learn more about how to help You and Her, without getting sucked into her addicts world.

This is a very difficult situation for you, especially with your Mom being 83 and God knows how long she has been abusing Meth, as it is one of those drugs that are very hard to come off of, plus at 83, she very likely has other health issues that come into play. She may well need a Guardian assigned to her (by the state), if and when she decides to get help and go to treatment.

Unfortunately, you are going to have walk away, and let her self destruct, and it will not be easy, so make sure you get help and support for yourself! Hang in there!
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to staceyb

she's not going to think straight as long as she is addicted to meth. if she is paranoid and seeing things. she probably has long term use.

do you know how long she has been using? has she ever tried to get clean?

what a terrible thing for someone who is 83 I just cant imagine.

I don't know what choices you have except what the prev posters suggest.

leave her be or contact police and see what they can do.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to wally003

You say you’ve tried APS. What about the police?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Rainmom

The only thing you can do is sue for guardianship in court.

If she is competent, though, YOU'LL be out 10K.

Addicts have to get clean because they want to. She's making her own bed. Walk away like you mean it and don't look back. She isn't your responsibility.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn