All she does is complain. Lies to everyone that I do nothing for her. I am her only caregiver! My life is not my own. She is my BFF unfortunately I am her enemy? That hurts & pisses me off!
I know how you feel mums the same never happy I get a cleaning lady in for 3hrs on fridays and as soon as she gets up its "did she come?" "what did she do?" the house is spotless but mum will find something to moan about its draining and tiring! You dont say if your mum has alz/dem i am presuming she has? I think moaning at us the ones who care is thier way of letting out anger! Mum really pissed me off last sunday i was staying with a friend told her my brother was coming to stay with her and she threw a huge tantrum so i walked out texted my brother to stay.......... When he arrived she told him" she just left me here all day i dont know where she is? but theres no food there im starving" i am so furious as i had cooked her dinner and put it in the microwave???????? Anyway its been four days now and shes calmed down she cannot bear me to go out OR have any life for me even though i have a brother down the road? You need to walk away and have a break go for a coffee see a friend but dont let her get to you its hard but my mum is ok and fairly mobile once shes down stairs and has eaten i take off for a few hours as i know shes safe and my bro is doing a bit of work here so shes never really alone but you have to have a break especially since shes mean and nasty. Mum knows now that i wont take her crap and will just walk out until she calms down. Her outbursts are getting worse now though so maybe i need to ask her doc whether he can give her something? I dont know she is already on anti-depressants so i dont want her dopped or anything?
Hugs as its hard but you need to think about you aswell and stop letting her make you feel guilty ive given up feeling guilty i do all that is humanly possible here on my own and i will not be abused family know now not to listen to her rants like they did last year which caused me so much stress. When she was diagnosed with dementia i sent copies of "caregivers stress" to each of them that shut them up!!!! Your mums changing its not her anymore so you need to think about how you handle this and keep saine! Hugs its very hard but i know deep down mum knows im here caring and would be lost without me she is gone into town now with my brother PEACE..... but i can bet you she will buy me something i dont need her way of blackmail so she can fling it in my face maybe next week when theres another row but deep down i know she appreciates me here but will never admit it! Moaning to family is her way of getting attention? Also trying to make out that you do nothing so shes STILL independent??? yeh right! If people believe her then you need to explain to them what dementia is and how they behave even like i did print off all the info and shove it in thier faces! my sister has never even googled "dementia" can you believe that? Deep breaths we are all going through this im waiting for her to become more passive?? Gosh i hope thats soon!
cryssy, I see nothing has changed since all the great suggestions given to you a couple weeks ago when you posted "Caregiving is draining my family especially me! I get resentful and I hate that, is it normal?".
You really need to see if you can get your Mom into an assistant living facility via Medicaid if you live here in the States.
Yes mom has dementia. Just knowing that like many of you guy's are in the same situations is very helpful! & No I just vent here but I will never leave mom unless Im ill or my kids become more ill. Its extremely hard to be her caregiver because I see her declining & thats so sad. Its sad for my kids too we are with her 24/7. One thing has changed in caring for mom I NOW get a nurse that comes once every 2/3 wks to help. Shes really amazing with mom but even with me. She understands what im going through!
Her outbursts are getting worse now though so maybe i need to ask her doc whether he can give her something? I dont know she is already on anti-depressants so i dont want her dopped or anything?
Hugs as its hard but you need to think about you aswell and stop letting her make you feel guilty ive given up feeling guilty i do all that is humanly possible here on my own and i will not be abused family know now not to listen to her rants like they did last year which caused me so much stress. When she was diagnosed with dementia i sent copies of "caregivers stress" to each of them that shut them up!!!!
Your mums changing its not her anymore so you need to think about how you handle this and keep saine!
Hugs its very hard but i know deep down mum knows im here caring and would be lost without me she is gone into town now with my brother PEACE..... but i can bet you she will buy me something i dont need her way of blackmail so she can fling it in my face maybe next week when theres another row but deep down i know she appreciates me here but will never admit it! Moaning to family is her way of getting attention? Also trying to make out that you do nothing so shes STILL independent??? yeh right! If people believe her then you need to explain to them what dementia is and how they behave even like i did print off all the info and shove it in thier faces! my sister has never even googled "dementia" can you believe that?
Deep breaths we are all going through this im waiting for her to become more passive?? Gosh i hope thats soon!
By "walk away" do you mean leave the room, or leave caregiving?
Please provide a little more explanation to get more specific responses.
You really need to see if you can get your Mom into an assistant living facility via Medicaid if you live here in the States.