Is it ok to tell Mom about her Alzheimer's (she's likely forgotten)? If so, to what level of detail? - AgingCare.com

Is it ok to tell Mom about her Alzheimer's (she's likely forgotten)? If so, to what level of detail?

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Mom is in the later stages of AD. A few months ago, Mom started having seizures, which resulted in a rapid decline with AD. She's no longer able to feed herself, walk, or talk clearly. She mumbles a lot. On occasion, she can put three or four words together that make sense.

A couple of weeks ago, it sounded to me that she was trying to decide whether she should go or stay (with that man or woman that were not visible to me). I told her it's time for her to do what SHE wants to do. Then, I told her about her journey with AD. Should I continue to tell her about her story? Tell her about other people's journeys? Tell her more about the disease? I want her to know that all of this is not her fault (she's very quick to accept blame, even for things she didn't do), that we all love her, and that we will continue to love her throughout this journey.

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She is asking for your permission to go. Tell her she can go, tell her it is up to God and not up to us WHEN to go. Ask your angels to guide you.
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Taking care of both your parents at home sounds like a huge responsibility. Do you have some help?

Providing information about a dementia patient's condition is a personal decision. I have read quite a few opinions on it on these boards.

I have shared some things with my cousin, whom I have POA for, although, I don't think she comprehends it or she has forgotten it. I have never mentioned Alzheimers, though we have talked about her memory issues and strokes she has had. That doesn't seem to scare her. I don't use the word Alzheimers, although, she has it, because I see no need to distress her. She is easily driven to worry, so I choose to not create worry, when there is nothing she can do about it. Instead, I encourage every little bit of good news we get about her health. I don't mislead, but I talk of positive things, so she feels safe and secure.

It sounds like your mom is bed bound and the only thing she could do with the information is feel worried, depressed or fearful. I'm not sure how that would help her. And if she forgets what you told her, would you just keep telling her over and over? I don't see the point, but it's not my decision.

I"m no expert, but if one is in the final stage of AD, then I don't see how they could process something like that mentally. I would think they would be more interested in feeling safe and comfortable with soothing words of support, pain management and tender care, not disturbing news that they can't process.
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