Is it OK to ask a nine year old to tell their great grandmother goodbye?

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My mother had been living with us (me,my husband, daughter and granddaughter) for the last 2 and a half years. My granddaughter and mother were close. My granddaughter understands death and people go to heaven with no more pain and to be with God and their loved ones that have already passed. Is it OK for her to go to the home and tell my mom goodbye? She has been going to see her, good days and bad. She knows she is dying. The last week has been a roller coaster. Right now she is non-responsive not eating or drinking. Time may be really short. How do we know. Should I tell her it could be soon if she wants to say goodbye?

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I think it's a very good idea. I had just turned four when my Father died. Myself and my younger brother were not taken to the funeral or told what happened. I guess my Mom may have thought we were too young. But to be honest I think I may have adjusted to his death better if I had gone. I experienced a lot of anxiety as a child and I believe it was due to that. I don' t blame my Mother. She did what she felt was best at the time.
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I just went through this with a boy & girl 9 & 8. I'm the Godmother & the parents had been bedside waiting for the end 1 week in a home on hospice. The kids knew what was happening but had been taken away during the day & some nights. Absolutely kept out of the room during last 72 hrs. They asked my opinion & we were all unsure of the saying goodbye but it was beautiful & the kids had both WANTED to see grandma. We had caught them trying to sneak into the room. After they said goodbye & we said prayers, I took them for a long walk & we discussed dying & how they felt. I saw during the walk & having them share their feelings that it was a relief to both of them. The mystery was scary, how was she, how did she look. The boy was 8 & he spoke briefly then got on with walking & playing. The girl had questions & expressed relief at saying goodbye & I love you. She was relieved grandma looked like grandma.That night grandma passed. I think if she wants to it's better to let her then regret later that she didn't. Just give her a choice, no pressure.
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Yes, I think it would be good and you can continue to explain as you have done and offer to talk about it or answer any questions she has.
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In a family as close as your own, I see absolutely no problem, having your well adjusted child say her goodbyes to her Grandmother, and actually think it's the right thing to do!

Good on your for being so Loving and perceptive to your child's needs, and allowing them to honor their Grandmother in the end!

Good luck, and I am so sorry for your sorrows!
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I think the only wrong decision is not allowing her to say what she wants to do. If she understands what she can expect to see and wants to say goodbye then I would allow that, if she would rather not that is fine too. Just be sure she doesn't feel pressured one way or the other.
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Thank you JoAnn 29. I just worry about her.
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I see no problem. Seems you have explained things well.
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