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My tiny, sweet, humble mother has advance dementia and has started to have a BM in her bed at AL before the caregivers get her up. Then she proceeds to pull off her depends and make a real mess with the contents. UGH.. they want me to buy full bed sized disposable pads - which are hard to find and cost $4.00 a piece! I know she’s making a lot of extra work for them, but there has to be a less expensive solution. I bought 2 more of the washable ones, but they want to be able to just throw the mess out.

1st issue - Why do you have to buy them the disposable pads? Why do they need to be full bed sized?
2nd issue -The caregivers should be checking on her hourly through the night and be prepared to change her if she does soil herself. Is that not being done?

Arlene Hutcheon
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my2cents Aug 15, 2019
You're right. Clearly, checking on her more frequently is not being done or they could have resolved some of the problem themselves.
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I would ask that they toilet her sometime in the early morning, maybe 1 or 2 hours earlier would avoid this situation.

If she has recently been on antibiotics she probably needs some probiotics to balance her gut health out. Antibiotics kill all bacteria and it takes months for the friendly bacteria to rebuild without help.
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my2cents Aug 15, 2019
Isn't it sad that the family has to suggest these things to a facility about antibiotics?? Just like UTI infections that cause confusion and mind changing behavior. Those folks see it every day and should recognize an issue (and run tests, treat for it, etc) before a family member has to step in. I always think about those folks who have no family or visitors - I guess they just gradually go downhill, lay in crap, etc until they awake on the other side.
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#1 That price sounds very high to me. Where are you looking?
#2 When did this problem arise, how many times has it happened?
#3 What are they doing about adjusting your mother's routine to avoid her needing a BM at this time?

I'd agree with them that disposables, which can just be gathered up and incinerated, are the best way of dealing with the mess; but I'm not impressed that this is their only idea of what to do to address the problem.

The reason your mother is removing her Depends is that she is aware of having had a bowel movement and naturally attempts to clear up; only of course she can't. But it is not acceptable for this to be happening to her.

They can, for example:

review her routine, and encourage her to empty her bowel before bed time
check for possible causes of a change in bowel habit - you mention she's had a uti, is there a recent antibiotic prescription or anything like that?
go in to her earlier

It *is* extra work, whichever way you look at it, but it's their job to keep her clean, comfortable - and not distressed by finding herself soiled, and then left alone for long enough for it to become a smelly disaster, poor love.

To be fair, they may already be working on the other approaches but it's worth asking the question. Meanwhile, I hope it will be possible to track down some cheaper suppliers - are they recommending a particular brand and specification?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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It’s best to discard feces ASAP especially in an AL setting. If that’s what it takes for the staff to take care of the mess efficiently, they need the tools to do that. They may be expensive but in the long run it’s better for everyone.
Maybe there is a more reasonably priced source (Amazon, Walmart) for you to purchase and provide to them?
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Reply to Shane1124
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Why not just get half size, 30x36", disposable pads and tape two together? Now you have one full size one. Half size ones cost about 30-40 cents each.

Grandma does the same thing. I've thought about a onesie but they look like it would be a chore to check and change a diaper. So I thought of a different solution. I have grandma wear shorts or sweat pants with a drawstring. I have her wear a blouse with buttons. Then I tie the drawstring through one of the button holes. It doesn't stop the diaper removal 100% of the time, sometimes she unties it. But it works about 80% of the time. It still easy for me to check and change a diaper and if she overflows the diaper, it's just a pair a shorts or pants I have to change out and not an entire jumpsuit.
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Reply to needtowashhair
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You are fortunate they are not wanting to evict your mom from the ALF for this situation! You can purchase wonderful disposable pads called Extrasorbs on Amazon which will probably do the trick. You don't want ANYONE laundering washable pads covered in feces!!!

https://www.amazon.com/Medline-Extrasorbs-Drypad-Underpads-Permeable/dp/B07GYZNDY8/ref=sr_1_6?crid=2ZB7BY4JJKZ70&keywords=extrasorbs+es+350+medline&qid=1565651857&s=gateway&sprefix=extrasorbs+%2Caps%2C385&sr=8-6

Best of luck!
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needtowashhair Aug 13, 2019
I launder poop stained shorts and underpads all the time. Why wouldn't I? Cloth diapers have been washed and reused for hundreds of years. People fear the poop. They think it's toxic waste. Really, if the person emitting the poop doesn't have some contagious disease, there's not much to fear. In fact, one of the recent breakthroughs in modern medicine is the fecal transplant. It's exactly what it sounds like. They take the poop from a healthy person and put it into the guts of a sick person. Your intestines play a large role in your immune system. Many diseases that have no effective treatment can be treated with a fecal transplant. Respect poop, don't fear it.
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We have been dealing with it for years. No depends. It is more messy, and allows the poop to squish into crevices, difficult to clean and invites UTI.
Ripping off depends is messy, pulling down depends is messy.

Christy has a 4x4 washable pad under her sheet. We place a 3x3 disposable with a cotton cover on that it below her waist. No polyester. It is an skin irritant, holds body heat, moisture and bacteria and also invites UTI. Polyester will melt to the skin in a fire.

We made the small cover sheets by cutting up king sheets. Disposables are not good for the environment. Septic systems are designed to process poop.
We simply roll Christy a little bit to the bed edge, away from the poop and stand her, remove the pad and sheet. We do not have to wash the big sheet.

Just like old-fashioned diaper changing, we roll the poop off the sheet into the toilet. If it is gooey, we dunk it, or spray it. Her shower is close to the toilet.
Poop and smell goes down the drain instead of lingering in the garbage.

We toss the sheet and pad in the washer.
bed pads absorb water and really tax the dryer.
We have a length of PVC pipe suspended out side, near the back door, and drape the bedding over it to dry.

We do the same for her sitting, a small pad and cover. No depends,
Just a few moments ago, she had an accident on the couch, and it was easy to stand her, fold up the cloths and carry the poop to the toilet.

Usually there are two caregivers.
If I am alone, I fold the cloths until I after clean her.
We can imaging what it would be like to poop in a diaper. Yuck!
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Reply to EllerySir
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I got a "onesie" for my Husband and it worked.
You can find them on line or check stores for "body suits" that might work just as well.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Mittens are considered a restraint her in Nevada. And as such require a renewed perscription from the doctor on a daily basis.

Why not wash poop covered washable pads??? If the facility has a competent laundry system they will come out as good as new. I washed Luz's two or three times a day, whether it was poop or pee. You just rinse the deposit out into the tub or toilet and then wash just like you would a cloth diaper.

Another thought, maybe you could check if there is a laundry/diaper service in the area that could be used for washing the washable pads.

We used all three sizes because they were needed. 3X5, 3X3, 1.5X1.5
And they saved our furniture.
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Reply to OldSailor
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Well, you can’t blame them for wanting to put the mess in the trash.

Look into “puppy pads” in your local Wal-Mart or Petco or animal supply store. They might be big enough to handle what your mom dishes out. Probably a lot less cost also.

A medical supply store would be the most expensive option.

Have you looked on Amazon?
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elaineSC Aug 18, 2019
Great answer! 👍👍
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