Offering room with all included isn't part of the payment for care?

I'm sorry your caregivers haven't been trustworthy.

One thing you keep repeating is about an agency "that charged us twice the amount charged by a caregiver (but pays them way less than that)." That's the way all all agencies work, whether it is in caregiving or cleaning or even increasingly office staff and factory workers, the amount you pay has nothing to do with the hourly wages of the worker. From the difference the agency pays office staff - receptionists, payroll, schedulers, cleaners - as well as rent, water and electric and hopes to make a profit to pay themselves too.

My husband had a full-time live-in housekeeper when we got married. She is still employed with us. She has her own small apartment attached to the house and all of her utilities including cable and wifi are paid with our household costs. She is free to eat any meals with us as she desires or she can cook in her own apartment. She is at home in the afternoon when his 3 grandsons come home from school. They are twin boys age 8 and a 12-yr old. They do not require much care. She cooks, cleans, does laundry, ironing, etc.  She does household errands and uses one of the family cars for those errands. She also drives the boys to activities at times. I love to cook and do so regularly. Her salary was not decreased because I cook part of the time. In addition to apartment, food, and utilities she is paid a weekly salary of $700.00 per week. We take care of withholding taxes, paying employer portion of social security and her health insurance. She participates in a 401k type retirement set up by a local tax accountant for domestic workers in the area. She has Saturday and Sunday off and gets 2 weeks paid vacation. She also gets holidays off. Her salary and benefits are in-line to those paid in the area. If she is called upon for anything above regular hours or unusual circumstances, she is compensated accordingly. She has been working for my husband for about 4 years without problem.

Because of the unique nature of caring for an elderly person their salaries tend to be higher. No one in this area pays minimum wage for any type of caregiving. I do not live in a high income urban area. Two times minimum wage does not cover what is paid directly or indirectly to an elderly caregiver of any type. Daycare in our area is approximately $400.00 per week; and this is in line with state daycare voucher payments. I don't think what you are being asked to pay for someone to care for your loved one is out of line. As another poster stated $12,000 per month is not out of line for 24 hour coverage. Caring for an elderly loved one is a big responsibility. 

You must look at it hourly. A live in care giver should get paid about $10 to $20 an hour. At $20 that's $480 a day. They must be paid for the full 24 hours. So you can add up the cost of the room and board and the salary you want to pay and it does not come close to what they should be paid. If room and board were $1200 a month, and salary $1300 a month that's $2500 a month. What they should get is close to approximately $6000 to $20,000 a month. Just because a person deserves pay for 24hrs, our human nature is to want to give them less hourly when the deserve more. That's why I chose AL for my mom because it's cheaper than home care. If I did use home care I would want to have the best and pay well.

Cwillie, don't forget that those fees also cover insurance :-) ...for liabilities

Am I in the wrong profession?
I have been taking care of a lady in her late 80's for 2 years now. I was supposed to get room and board and 100.00 per month. I was told she had mild dementia and her 60 plus-year-old son would be staying for a short time. I would be able to do the things I needed to do without worry because she was able to take care of most of her own needs. She could answer the phone so I knew when I was out I could call and check on her and though she wouldn't know who I was she would at least be able to answer and let me know she was ok. The son had control of her debit card so if I needed anything he would be doing the purchasing. He would take care of all of his own needs and I hers.
For the first few weeks, everything went ok. I learned she was a little worse off mentally than I was originally led to believe but since the son was there I didn't really have a problem, yet.
I did all of the cooking and cleaning and was expected to make parties for her. These parties have been traditional for her, so they were expected. I didn't know this in advance either. I was expected to do everything for her. Whatever would arise. Bathe, dress if needed, cook, wash, do her hair, medicate, and anything else she needed. Take her out to dinner and anywhere else she wanted to go.
Taking care of her was not to bad in the beginning. Her son, however, became a nightmare. He would eat every time I cooked a meal but never cleaned up after himself. He spent every day sitting in his chair in the den either watching t.v. or on his computer. After about 5 months I started putting his dishes on the end of the cabinet and only cleaned up after her and I. This made him mad, but I didn't care. Finally, he got a job out of state and left for a couple of months. That is when I learned exactly what was in store for me.
I all of the sudden had to start taking her everywhere I go because her staying by herself is no longer an option. She can't answer the phone because she can't remember which button to push even though I have it marked on the phone. I am expected to be with her 24/7 too. I have no days off and have not had a vacation either. I broke my arm on St. Patricks day 2017 and was yelled at because I was trying to kill a wasp when it happened. I was told that is why they pay a service to spray so I don't need to try and kill a wasp. I had to have surgery and pins and plate inserted and couldn't even get someone to come change her bed for me. So the day after surgery I was changing sheets on a queen sized bed alone. Finally, I had to ask a close friend of mine to come help me. They didn't say no but they didn't offer her anything for her time either.
She has been in the hospital a few times in the past 8 months. I also stayed in the hospital with her and took care of her there as well. The only things the nurses/aides did were what I was not allowed to do. Everything else was done by me. About 6 months ago the doctor put her on oxygen at home. Now my life has really become chaotic. I now have to carry oxygen tanks everywhere I go and she now has to be in a wheelchair when she has any distance to travel. She refuses to use her walker so I am used as a human walker. I carry a walker, wheelchair, oxygen tanks big ones and portable ones, changes of clothes for her, Items to clean her with for whenever she has an accident, etc, etc. Imagine everything you had to do for your child only now it's for a grown-up child.
She has lost so much of her mental abilities in the past 6 months it's really bad. She has fallen a few times in the past 4 months too.
I do everything in this household and get no recognition for anything.
Since she has been put on oxygen I have to check on her every 15 to 20 minutes all day and night. I get no quality rest ever.
She was put on hospice and they decided I needed a break. Her family was told to get someone to relieve me for a week. Their idea of that is 5 days, 8 hours a day for one week.
While we were together I asked for a 100.00 raise. He blew a gasket. How dare I ask for a raise when I do nothing but make sure she doesn't leave the stove on or go out in the middle of the night to get her paper.
Wow, I told him he needs to come and stay a full month with her alone and see exactly what needs to be done. I really don't think that will ever happen. In fact, I know it won't. Needless to say, I didn't get the 100.00.
My sister told me to check and see just what my job is worth and I figured after looking into the subject at minimum wage 24/7 I should be making somewhere in the neighborhood of 8,100.00 per month. I don't think I was asking too much. What do you all think?
I could keep going but I won't. Curious to hear any feedback.

I’m glad you clarified your situation.

To wouldyoustayorgo....GO! GO! Your sister is right. You are being abused.

Personally, if I found an aide had stolen from my mother and the agency did nothing about it, I would file a police report, period. I have heard from a number of different people in our area with different agencies who have had this happen to. If the agencies do not feel responsible for their employee, then most definitely I would file a police report.

2nd thought - I googled and believe Greece is the country Anonymous is posting from. And the rest of that entire conversation, I will not enter.

You are not taking them into your home, as you state. You are hiring them. Based on your poor experience, don't you think the cheap route isn't working? I'm trying to be understanding about your frustration and probable exhaustion, but in your posts you don't sound like a person I would work for at any wage. Caregiving is hard. It's hard for family and its hard for employees.

I once made a comment on the phone, after being told that the cost of that facility was 6000/month, that it should not cost more than the amount she gets monthly from her ss check. Sorry, but I think, and I know others feel this way also, that the cost is ridiculous! There I go venting again.