How can I offer support to my brother who helps care for parents when I live 2 states away? - AgingCare.com

How can I offer support to my brother who helps care for parents when I live 2 states away?

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I currently work a full time job and only see my parents about one weekend a month, if I'm lucky. My brother lives the across the street from parents and burning out quick.

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Hi, I think the biggest help you could give to your brother is the entire weekend off that you are there. Let him have that weekend completely to himself. I say this because when I cared for my mother with dementia I asked my siblings to rotate weekends so I could get a break. One of my brothers called me an hour after I left the house asking where the oatmeal was and if he should make it.. I told him I could walk into any house in this neighborhood and make oatmeal. I left a note with detailed instructions on my mother. I guess what I am trying to say is handle everything independently for the entire weekend. Sometimes getting two days of rest makes a huge difference when your at your breaking point. Good luck to you guys.
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Can you committ to visiting once a month to take over for a weekend? He needs to know this is something he can count on, to look forward to. That would decrease stress by giving him something to look forward to. The chores advice is also a good idea.
You are looking for a way to help, so you obviously appreciate his position and care.
Best of luck to both of you.
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I can think of some little things that may help. What chores does your brother do for you parents? Does he do their yard, wash the car, or do maintenance chores? Does he take them to the store or doctor's office. Something you could provide money to hire someone to do one or two of the tasks he does. That will buy him some free time. (Sometimes I think it would be wonderful if someone would just come by and wash the car for me. The sap from the trees won't come off in one of the drive-through washes. I can dream. :)
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