Are you offended by their swearing? -

Are you offended by their swearing?


My MIL swears at me pretty much all the time and I find it so offensive. It is disheartening to give up your home and your life to care for someone who calls you a witch with a b......................all day long. I've told her ...but of course that doesn't do anything. It seems like she knows it bothers me so she does it more. I'm probably way too sensitive but I am sick of the foul language. Sick of it. Bill and I did not swear and neither did our kids ( at least around us) but I feel like our home has been violated once again.
Just venting.

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Maria I am sure your dear Bill would have been so appreciative for the care you are giving his mother. Was she always an unpleasant person or has she just become this was due to her illness. is she pleasant to the hospice workers? this seems to happen so often when the loved one turns so viciously on those who have given up so much to help them have a peacful end. Do take care of yourself and try to spend some time outside in the sun. It is good for the soul. Just half an hours warms the tired mind (not to mention the Vit D) hugs and strength to you.
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Thanks for responding. It helps to vent to someone.

I wish my sweet husband was here to scold his mother. Bill died 5 years ago after a very painful cancer battle. He was an awesome husband and I loved him so very much.

Bill was kind and gracious. NOTHING like his mother!!

If he were here............MIL would've never moved into our home. Bill would be appalled at the way this has all turned out. He "had my back" always.
At the same time............I do believe my husband would be grateful that I stepped up to care for his mom.

It's just me now and I work from home.
I am able to be caretaker and so I do.
Honestly, I never thought she'd live this long. She's been on hospice for 20 months!
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I rarely swear but hubby does a lot - not calling me names, I might add but describing others as f*****g incompetent etc. He knows exactly what he is doing and I choose to ignore it, it is an example of his frustration as it probably is with your MIL who can no longer control much in her life anymore which is very hard to accept she can still call you bad names because you are in the small circle that has become her world. She can also be unco-operative with things you want her to do like take a shower and change her clothes. Does not make it any easier to tolerate but it does help to see the reason behind things you don't like.
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I don't blame you for being upset. I would be too. It would be very hurtful if someone called me that everyday and I would grow very frustrated day by day.

Since she has dementia you're not going to get anywhere with her by trying to discuss it or asking her to please stop calling you that. She's lost the filter between her brain and her mouth. Unfortunately, it's up to you to work on not becoming upset when your MIL does this. You can tell yourself that it's the disease, that she isn't responsible for her actions, that she can't help what comes out of her mouth. However, being called names is very inflammatory and you may never come to accept that it's the Alzheimer's. You're operating on all cylinders and your MIL isn't. She probably forgets she called you a name 2 minutes after she's said it but you carry it around with you all day.

I'm sorry that you have to be subjected to this. It isn't fair. I wonder if your husband steps up and scolds his mother when she does this. It may not do any good because she'll forget it but it might be nice for him to at least try for your sake.
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Marialake, I see by your profile that your Mom-in-law has Alzheimer's/Dementia and with that disease sometimes comes the abusive language. I found a good article here on the AgingCare website about that, and scroll down to #4.
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