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Upset with myself because I lost it with my mom tonight. She's already forgotten all about it, though. I caught her picking all the chocolate chips out of the mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Other issues are that she is always "tetris-ing" the garbage in the garbage can. She cuts pills (worn fabric) off of clothes and they end up full of holes. All of her help is not helpful. She breaks or purposefully ruins (fixes?) a lot of my things. Just a few examples are breaking my coffee cup and hiding it in the bottom of the garbage can, flattening (ripping up the inside of) the microfiber sponge I use to wash dishes. It makes me nuts that she messes with the food, many items bought specifically for other family members, because she doesn't wash her hands. Never has. She's always had a selfish personality, everything's always about her, plus the OCD quirks, but amplified with the dementia component. Sometimes she says she's sorry, that she knew I wouldn't like it. It's as if she's a defiant child. Most of this of course is the disease, but seems the actions are directed at me specifically. On the positive side, she's no longer anxious/worried, unhappy, naggy, or obsessed with insignificant issues she never let go of in the past. Just ranting on this first post of mine. I'm usually patient and keep a sense of humor about it all. Anyone with similar OCD -type issues?

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OMG do you live with me or know my mom. LOL I am new to this as well and try to be up beat laugh it off but some days are not so easy. My mom has only been with us about 4 months but she refuses to sleep in bedroom. She is in the family room on the sofa. Complaining indirectly and directly hinting making a lot of noise and things like that the TVs too bright to loud lights are bothering her almost every night. So that’s been fun. Sorry to hear others are going through what I’m going through but it’s also comforting to know I’m not crazy and the only one God bless you all
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Reply to Anitam
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I cannot see any connection between the behaviours you describe and OCD. She sounds as though she is going through a stage of not knowing right from wrong, and doing things a child does. This stage will probably pass as they all seem to but that doesn't help whilst she is going through it. Can you fix kiddylocks to fridge, freezer and cupboards? Stop her getting at the things which are the greatest problem and try to live with the minor ones. If she likes picking scouring pads apart perhaps she would like popping bubble wrap - it seems to be something that can keep people occupied. Will she do removable sticker picture making? Can she have a small cupboard that she keeps her biscuits, raisins, chocolate in that no one else must get in - maybe a notice on it that it belongs to her. A sort of combination of stopping and encouraging that you can manage and she can feel she is in charge of?
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Reply to TaylorUK
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Like all problem behaviors, you will need to establish firm boundaries. Please read any of the boundary books by Townsend and Cloud. They all have a clearly defined path to establishing boundaries with whoever has problem behaviors. Since your mom has a dementia component overlaid on top of her OCD, she will most likely "not remember" conversations where you establish the rules. Consider ways to "mom proof" your home - similar to "baby proofing" when a small toddler starts investigating (destroying) everything they get their hands on.
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Reply to Taarna
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batsinthebelfry: Imho, perhaps she needs to see a geriatric psychiatrist, although since you've said that you're just ranting, perhaps not so much a problem for you.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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I had a lady who was an escape artist. We’d have to fan out and bring her back to the nursing home. One day, I gave her an old rag, she never left again. She “dusted” and hummed every day, she lived there, perfectly content.

Maybe find busy jobs for her. Things that may not matter to you. Sorting socks, folding towels, etc. - when she gets done, wait a day then undo them and let her start over.
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Reply to BeckyT
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It's good news that she isn't negative, obsessed, and complaining all the time. It's still a very hard situation here.
If you're planning on keeping her living with you and are not considering placement in a care facility there will have to be many changes made to the home.
You will have to literally "baby-proof" your house. The refrigerator and all of the cabinets will have to have devices installed so she cannot get into them on her own. Everywhere in your house that has a door has to have a lock put on it so she cannot access any areas on her own unsupervised. Her own bedroom and closet also. If she's at home during the day and not in adult day care, the areas of the house she spends her days in have to be limited.
It could also help if her doctor prescribed some medication for her. That may help with the OCD.
I had an adult client years ago who had Downs Syndrome and lived with his family. He also had severe OCD. There had to be a lock on everything that had a door in that house. Otherwise God only knows what he would have gotten into. OCD can be very bad and many changes have to be made to a house.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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Give her tasks that will not drive you batty.
Put things away that you don't want her to touch or pick at.
If you are doing the dishes why not give mom that task? At least her hands will get clean...
You say that she is no longer anxious but many of the OCD things you mention are signs that she is having some anxiety.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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BITB, good to see that you are not taking any of this personally. Your mom would do this or other things to whomever was with her.

What could you find for her to do to keep those hands busy so she is not cutting up clothing? A basket of pilly socks? Magazines to cut up? Would she maybe make collages using different textures?
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Reply to gladimhere
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Oh dear! Sounds like this lady needs constant supervision.. & her hands keep busy! What's that saying about idle hands finding the devil's work?
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Reply to Beatty
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